The Past Found Me, when I was not looking…

We all dream, dreams of hope, dreams of life, dreams of death… I have had all those dreams…

Life as I entered a world that was not of my making, but one I would have to survive in and fight against the corruption of religion and the christian faith and fight to keep my soul…yet they tried so very hard to take it… the life they took… but, the soul is free…

My earliest memories start when I can walk, about a year old and the hairbrush broke against my backside… my first introduction into violence in a christian home… you see, I was born self aware with a high IQ, which would cause me many beatings…

I grew and flourished for a short while… and one day on a childrens TV show, I was interviewed… not barely 6 years old and said words that were truth and once we got home… Freda (mother) taught me the values of those truths as she beat the little girl, leaving her body with multiple blunt force fractures, a broken wrist and finger… the child withdrew…

WHY

As time passed the memory of abuse faded, which is what the mind will do, when it wants peace… escape the abuse anyway possible… so the brain ran away…

When the sister was playing and kids being kids… it embarassed Freda and the little girl paid…

Maggi6yr

This time the memories didn’t fade after the beating… No the child developed a personality that was vivacious and bubbly and always a quick quip off the tongue… but she withdrew in other ways…she was only 8 years old…those bruises hurt years later…

By the time 13 yrs old came around, the world was an ugly place and she escaped, cutting grass, babysitting, anything to make money so she could escape to the local theatre in Big Springs, Texas… or what ever base we were stationed at…escape, was survival….

The baby born not of my dads blood and out of that birth, came a death… this little girl you see in the picture… only 13 and she would die that night… and the parents and Air Force would cover up the crime…

Shipped off to Japan and they injured her again after she turned 14 and one last blow at 17… killing all of Margies past and taking a couple years off her future…

The brain always in healing mode, decided to live life… because Margie didn’t know that she had suffered a stroke and died in Big Springs, Texas and Freda & Don, never told her…

She left that house of horrors, had 2 beautiful boys and went into the Air Force… where one of her own children would experience rape and both boys nearly died, because the killer wanted no evidence of his crime…

My career over, because the image of the base, was more important than my life or my childs… the same thing they did to Margie at Webb AFB, in Big Springs, Texas in 1967… Vance AFB, Enid, OK did it to my kids 1983…

I did not go seeking my past, it was given back to me after a young deranged airman killed 26 people in Sutherland Springs, Texas on Nov 5, 2017…

Nov 7, 2017 I told my husband I had a story to tell and the memories came flooding back in…. the night Margie died…

I am a veteran…. and a woman…our value is diminished by Christians…to them, humanity is no more…only the man made god they worship….as exemplified by the placing of a rapist in the white house and supreme court…this is my life story, stole by those who worship a god that never was or ever will be…so they hide their crimes in bodies like mine….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… I hope you do too…

Sgt. USAF DAV a story of men in power protecting men in power… ie Trump, Kavanaugh, Barr, Mcconnel, Ryan, Thomas, Graham, they are just the bed sheets…

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