Margie has died….

Margies memories pick up after the move to Big Springs, Texas… a town built on the oil and gas industry with a smell that permeates the air… with a little Air Force training base called Webb, which closed down in 1977 the year I entered the Air Force…

Her memories pick up at junior high, though the grade is not known… a singing contest where she sang a Lullaby, her rating, a sweet voice with a need for confidence…

The next memory is going to the little theatre up the street to see Gone With the Wind, she sat through the movie through 2 showings… that desperate to stay out of the house is my assumption…

By now we are into May and I know this only because I entered a radio contest for mother’s day for a dozen roses…

RadioContestRosesForMomByMargie

Which I won… In hindsight, she never deserved it… the next memory that comes to mind, mom & dad are having their usual tit for tat and I get asked a question in anger… “Margaret, why did dad & I have to get married?”… my reply, “because you got pregnant with me”, her response, “you want to get slapped”… I remember all of us kids were at the dinning room table eating and I vaguely remember my half-brother being there… we were at the ages of 15 half brother, me 12, sis 10, brother 6, brother 3 a baby on the way…

The night Margie died, is a hard one to write about, but lets see if it triggers anymore memories…

The baby had been born, that was not dads… so I would be 13 now… dad as always was working a 2nd job at the bowling alley I think… the night was hot, as it was summer, the smell of the refinery strong in the windless air…

All us kids were in bed and I awoke to mom bitching at dad, when he came in from his 2nd job late at night…

The arguing escalated and I have a picture that was always frozen in time in my mind, but plays like a video now… my older brother and I came out of our bedrooms because the yelling turned into fists hitting flesh…

I remember screams and words that were spoken and that could not be erased… the fight was over the baby in the background crying… I remember mom saying don’t let him get to the baby, the him was dad…

I remember my brother trying to get in between the 2 adults and getting hurt, so I made my way into the fray…

I saw mom hit the floor and I saw my brother being beaten, I fought with all the strength that a 70 pound child has and succumb to oblivion as the blows were turned upon me…

I have no more memories of Texas… not the birth of the new baby, not holidays, not turning 13… In fact that night Margie died…

Within a year we were sent to Japan and there are a couple of memories before the move… Mom’s mother had died, so we were left in the care of someone… I was covered in bruises from my feet to my head, no one at school did anything…

I remember our stopping at Alines and Lee’s on our way to Japan and I went to a base to visit the wounded with a cousin…

I remembered dad left for Japan and we stayed in a dive, barely able to have food on the table… I babysit for someone and took the money to buy groceries… I brought home a cut up chicken and other supplies… my mother’s response, “you should have bought a whole chicken it’s cheaper”… I was 13, I had no clue about such things, I was just tired of being hungry…

By the fall of 1968 we were in Japan… within a very short time I pissed off mom and dad beat me again… my brain, not healed from the trauma in 67 was injured again… I have very few memories of the 2 years we lived off base…. I have only a couple of memories of high school… I do not remember moving on base… I remember the first guy I dated, but not much… I remembered one girl, who slept over for my 16th birthday, she was african american…

I do not remember the move to Okinawa and I have a hand full of memories for there…

At 17, I made a comment to dad as I was leaving the house, I think mom and dad were arguing… I was knocked several feet across the room on my knees that became severely rug burned… I heard mom say, “You shouldn’t have done that”… as I picked myself up and left for the bowling alley for my league…

A few months later we were on our way back to the U.S.  Dad’s mom was supposedly ill so it was a humanitarian reassignment… she lived for another 20 years…

I left home as soon as I was able upon our return… Now 18, I was no longer a pawn in the game of hit and destroy in the house that was never a home…

I can’t tell you about any Christmas during those 18 years… I can tell you about my 16th birthday, but just barely… 

I can’t tell you about my siblings, I have very few memories if any….

I left that household not knowing I had suffered multiple brain injuries… I left not knowing how I even graduated from school and how I earned that diploma… I had always been told by mom that I was a poor student… which is ironic… The El Paso Psych exam in 2011 says I have above average IQ…

The death of Margie isn’t a tragic story… It is one that is repeated daily in households all over this planet…

All in the name of man-made religions like Christianity, Islam, Buddhism and many more…

Just so people can play god with the lives of children…

Times Up #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

Domestic violence, rape and assault are not new in America or the world... but it is accepted in the highest offices of our government in America... The catholic church, in congress and the white house... you can use and abuse people as long as you can make everyone believe the words coming out of your mouth.... My body shows the evidence of domestic violence and Air Force cover up... I am just one among millions whose government was complicit in rape and domestic violence... Until women step up and vote with their voice... Men in power, will protect men in power and do it in the name of your god and country.... Your voice, your vote...