Always Hungry…

Can not tell you if I was denied food… The memory goes like this…

I was hurting after another beating, do not know for sure, but believe it was mom that did the damage…

I got up in the middle of the night, climbing down the ladder of the top bunk… I got a piece of bread out of the loaf an a couple of pieces of ex-lax… 

55 years later I still get up in the middle of the night for a snack… Not because I am hungry, because of bad dreams…

It is a habit I am trying to break… A recent diagnosis may explain why I needed the ex-lax… That may require a spinal tap…

PTSD is a non stop conveyor belt of remembering the worse of what you have been through… They say with therapy you can take control… Sadly that therapy is not happening here… Not by my choice either…

It is a cathardic lesson documenting the struggle to break free of PTSD…. I so get why veterans take their own lives…

I remind myself daily, one day at a time… There is hope an that is what I cling too… Hope…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....