Just A Memory….

Ya know, it is not just a memory… Those of us who suffered a TBI or multiple TBI’s… have a different perspective on memories… Memories are who we are… It’s what we are made of…

Humans in their unique ability to remember their lives in detail, some can remember every second of every day… no thank you… but, our ability to remember, is what molds us and forms our souls as humans…

For decades I could not figure out why I felt so lost… Not because I believe in reality and not man-made religion…, no it was more about that feeling of belonging… I never felt like I belonged to my birth family… I never felt a closeness or unconditional love for the family I was born into… I always walked with suspicion… I was suspicious of every one and thing, ie…religion…

So when someone says like they did in the Potter movies, it’s just a memory and you can kind of sort of move on… you can’t with TBI… You have a mouth-watering need, desire and hunger to know where the information is, that is missing from you memory… missing from you…

I don’t think about what if… my circumstances are what they are… my birth family, once they realized I was remembering… lied and continue to promote their lies, for one reason only, image… the image they have in the communities they live in… only one little problem with that… humans are not completely that stupid… But that is my birth family in a nut shell… This is the choice the chose for their walk through life… lie, steal, cheat and beat…but their god will forgive them… Mental illness at it’s best… and in America, it is pervasive…

So, it never is just a memory for those of us with PTSD or TBI… Understanding, seeing and holding that memory is what helped to mold us as a human being… For some it will be a spiritual healing for some it will be the end of the road and they will close the door on life and for the lucky few… It’s putting the very last piece in a jigsaw puzzle… the picture is complete and so are you…

It is never “Just a Memory”….

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....