Hello ole friend, I have missed you… NOT!

Depression is an old friend, the varying levels that present itself to me is interesting… I find it more noticeable now than before… I am aware when it’s going to rear its ugly heads and intrude upon my daily existence… though it does not have the power or control it once had on me… no it’s more of a bitch slap or a creep into my world type of depression and I seem to be the one in control, not the other way around…

I accept that religion is a control mechanism and not a thing of true faith or belief… I accept that those who rely on religion, do it out of a need to be in control of something, it’s just not themselves, thus the need to sin against humanity and fall back on a god will forgive me type of rhetoric…

I accept that I can not change what was done, even though I am reminded daily of what was done to my body in the guise of parenting… I call it for what it is, mental illness and hiding behind religion… but their god will forgive them… not to sure I am 100% behind that thought process… I am still after all very angry they still walk this earth with zero amount of remorse… but their god will forgive them…

I accept that I am tired of all this and the nightmares that seem to come and go as they want, not as I want…

I accept that I am a flawed human being… but I never abused anyone the way I was abused… So if you think you got a lousy life because of your parents… you might want to look at your choices… I chose to leave home at 18, because of the parents… I didn’t know it then, but I do know it now… smartest thing I ever did was leave home… 

I accept I made mistakes as a parent, but hey, who didn’t…. At least I never beat my kids and fractured their bodies or their spirit… but it’s okay that mine did and I am just hunky dory with that… NOT!!!

I accept my honesty is my down fall and it will always keep my little world of people very small and even then, trust is earned not given… so my world is even smaller than people think… it is after all a world built on trust, which I never have given away…

So though I may not have control over the nightmares as they intrude into my world once again… I do have control over so much more that is part of my world… and those I chose to let into it… so today depression 0, me 1…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

Domestic violence, rape and assault are not new in America or the world... but it is accepted in the highest offices of our government in America... The catholic church, in congress and the white house... you can use and abuse people as long as you can make everyone believe the words coming out of your mouth.... My body shows the evidence of domestic violence and Air Force cover up... I am just one among millions whose government was complicit in rape and domestic violence... Until women step up and vote with their voice... Men in power, will protect men in power and do it in the name of your god and country.... Your voice, your vote...