TBI & PTSD, journey to remember…

By now, you have noticed, I don’t write, If I don’t have anything to write about… and when I do,  that usually means my night was filled with activity…

It’s a fine line you walk, when you push to remember… I could take it super slow and just push it off to deal with at a later date… I did that for 50 years… Every night that I have dreams is an opportunity to clean house…

Not every dream has to do with my childhood… Every once in a while I will have that weird dream that wakes you up or leaves an impression and you shake your head and think that was a fun ride to know where… but, according to the pros, our dreams mean something…don’t know what that something is, for me it was just a nice interruption in the nightly nightmares….

With the volcano doing it’s thing and making life a little more unsettled and having nightmares, sleep is back to take it when you get it… smoke a bowl in the middle of the night to calm the brain and roll back over and finally… you got no control over anyone or anything, including volcanoes…

The depression is there, but not any place close to what it was… I will be the first to acknowledge it is hard to believe anyone would deliberately set out to hurt a child… but the more I hear in the news of current victims… I have to make myself accept… I was thrown away for a corrupt religion and belief…. or it was jealousy… or mental illness…  Since I will never know that answer… I have to accept that though I was a victim of domestic violence… I survived…  So many did not…

Now its just working on freeing Margie, so that her existence is acknowledged and her voice, like so many others is finally heard…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

My earliest memory is before the age of 2... by the time I was 13, I had no childhood memories... No holidays, no birthdays... On 11/5/17 a shooter in Texas changed all that... It triggered my memories from my 13th year... The Air Force covered it up an it happened in Big Springs, Texas 1967... Domestic violence, PTSD, TBI and I too served in the Air Force 10 years later... This is my story to remember what was stolen...