Depression and Mother Nature…

When you have any doubt about you being alive… move to an active volcano and hello… you get your wake up call with a 6.9 earthquake…

I lived on Japan and Okinawa as a teenager and adult… Earthquakes were a daily occurence and still are…

I also lived in Italy in 76/77 and was at Aviano when we had a massive earthquake that left all of us rattled and camped out on the flight line, where I got pregnant with my 2nd child, ahh Italy…

I never thought I had depression, until I went into the military… I guess with all trauma I endured as a child, I developed depression and just lived with it… dealt with it just like anyone else… I drank… Drugs were never a big attraction to me, mainly because of how they impact my brain and I found that out in just being prescribed medications in the military…

Since waking up from this nightmare of 50 years… I still have no interest in booze… I do like my pot though… but I have to be cautious with it… some of what we grow can trigger depression…

When you figure we are and have been growing for a while and with Pele letting us know she is alive and kicking… I have been trying to figure out if I am depressed because of the pot or is it because of the ongoing eruption that I live only 10 miles away from…or is it the past…

For me with the depression, I think as long as I am aware of being depressed and I can figure out if it’s a moment in time from the past that is bringing me down or I did it to myself by using pot for all my pain… kind of a catch 22, but important when dealing with depression… making it worse is the dumbest thing I can do to myself… but like anyone else out there… I am a flawed human being and I am gong to make mistakes and take steps backwards on this journey of discovery….

I don’t enjoy the blue time… I find it intruding into life and stopping me from doing what I enjoy…

I guess the lesson from all this… you have no control over anyone or anything except yourself… not letting the depression just sneak up an take over is important to stopping the cycle…

Now if only Pele would go back to sleep so the rest of us can get some …

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

My earliest memory is before the age of 2... by the time I was 13, I had no childhood memories... No holidays, no birthdays... On 11/5/17 a shooter in Texas changed all that... It triggered my memories from my 13th year... The Air Force covered it up an it happened in Big Springs, Texas 1967... Domestic violence, PTSD, TBI and I too served in the Air Force 10 years later... This is my story to remember what was stolen...