Depression and Mother Nature…

When you have any doubt about you being alive… move to an active volcano and hello… you get your wake up call with a 6.9 earthquake…

I lived on Japan and Okinawa as a teenager and adult… Earthquakes were a daily occurence and still are…

I also lived in Italy in 76/77 and was at Aviano when we had a massive earthquake that left all of us rattled and camped out on the flight line, where I got pregnant with my 2nd child, ahh Italy…

I never thought I had depression, until I went into the military… I guess with all trauma I endured as a child, I developed depression and just lived with it… dealt with it just like anyone else… I drank… Drugs were never a big attraction to me, mainly because of how they impact my brain and I found that out in just being prescribed medications in the military…

Since waking up from this nightmare of 50 years… I still have no interest in booze… I do like my pot though… but I have to be cautious with it… some of what we grow can trigger depression…

When you figure we are and have been growing for a while and with Pele letting us know she is alive and kicking… I have been trying to figure out if I am depressed because of the pot or is it because of the ongoing eruption that I live only 10 miles away from…or is it the past…

For me with the depression, I think as long as I am aware of being depressed and I can figure out if it’s a moment in time from the past that is bringing me down or I did it to myself by using pot for all my pain… kind of a catch 22, but important when dealing with depression… making it worse is the dumbest thing I can do to myself… but like anyone else out there… I am a flawed human being and I am gong to make mistakes and take steps backwards on this journey of discovery….

I don’t enjoy the blue time… I find it intruding into life and stopping me from doing what I enjoy…

I guess the lesson from all this… you have no control over anyone or anything except yourself… not letting the depression just sneak up an take over is important to stopping the cycle…

Now if only Pele would go back to sleep so the rest of us can get some …

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....