I Remember…

Maybe losing so much sleep because of Pele isn’t a bad thing after all… It’s an ethereal type of experience when a flash of my childhood floats past my eyes…

I can be opening the screen door to let the dogs in and something, a memory, a flash from the past… Not new memories… no this is the progression of the repressed memories making it self known… It is Margie banging on that cell door, reminding me not to forget about her…

I think, that is always a dangerous occupation in my situation… but I think that my choice to no longer use the mental health nurse was a wise choice… she gave me insight, but not help…

No, for me to make it through this process I have to be willing to go all in… I have to accept and acknowledge mental illness in the family… I have to know that I will not be able to understand the why, when it comes to other people’s behavior… I do only have control over mine and only mine…

The memories are surfacing… a little at a time… there is about 17 years I lost, due to head trauma at the hands of my parents… As neither parent owns their behavior… I have to accept my father went to the grave a coward and my mother will do the same… but their god forgives them….

Yes it is an interesting journey the PTSD and TBI… I have always known that the brain is the most powerful weapon we have… some chose to use it for the good of only themselves so that they are the richest dead person in the graveyard… I hope to be remembered not for what I own… but for who I am… 

I look forward to more memories surfacing…good or bad…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

My earliest memory is before the age of 2... by the time I was 13, I had no childhood memories... No holidays, no birthdays... On 11/5/17 a shooter in Texas changed all that... It triggered my memories from my 13th year... The Air Force covered it up an it happened in Big Springs, Texas 1967... Domestic violence, PTSD, TBI and I too served in the Air Force 10 years later... This is my story to remember what was stolen...