I Remember…

Maybe losing so much sleep because of Pele isn’t a bad thing after all… It’s an ethereal type of experience when a flash of my childhood floats past my eyes…

I can be opening the screen door to let the dogs in and something, a memory, a flash from the past… Not new memories… no this is the progression of the repressed memories making it self known… It is Margie banging on that cell door, reminding me not to forget about her…

I think, that is always a dangerous occupation in my situation… but I think that my choice to no longer use the mental health nurse was a wise choice… she gave me insight, but not help…

No, for me to make it through this process I have to be willing to go all in… I have to accept and acknowledge mental illness in the family… I have to know that I will not be able to understand the why, when it comes to other people’s behavior… I do only have control over mine and only mine…

The memories are surfacing… a little at a time… there is about 17 years I lost, due to head trauma at the hands of my parents… As neither parent owns their behavior… I have to accept my father went to the grave a coward and my mother will do the same… but their god forgives them….

Yes it is an interesting journey the PTSD and TBI… I have always known that the brain is the most powerful weapon we have… some chose to use it for the good of only themselves so that they are the richest dead person in the graveyard… I hope to be remembered not for what I own… but for who I am… 

I look forward to more memories surfacing…good or bad…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

Domestic violence, rape and assault are not new in America or the world... but it is accepted in the highest offices of our government in America... The catholic church, in congress and the white house... you can use and abuse people as long as you can make everyone believe the words coming out of your mouth.... My body shows the evidence of domestic violence and Air Force cover up... I am just one among millions whose government was complicit in rape and domestic violence... Until women step up and vote with their voice... Men in power, will protect men in power and do it in the name of your god and country.... Your voice, your vote...