Pele’s Life Force…

Watching nature in action, especially when it comes to building more land, is awe-inspiring about the circle of life…

When you live with depression… that light, that spark that made you, molded you is what draws everyone to you…

I lost mine… I took it I buried it so deep, it is a faint light in the distance flickering on and off, reminding me that I once knew how to live in the here and now… Yet I keep finding myself being dragged back on a nightly basis to the darkest part of my life… my past, my childhood….

I am so ready to say screw it, throw things around and say I am done with this process and want to move on… only one little problem… the past is owning me and not me owning the past… sigh…

That is the constant struggle when living with depression… I know why I am depressed… I just don’t like this long process of going through all of it again in my waking mind… I want to bury it again and ignore it till the day I die… I want to cheat myself out of living, because of all the work that still lays ahead…

Some of the realities of what I am experiencing shows that even though I don’t see myself as a bigot… I do have views of some things in life in a jaded manner… 

No one likes change… I have lived life long enough to know, what is coming will be taxing and exciting and most of all frustrating… but I will be living in the here and now and I will be the one owning the past…

As with Pele… once she is done making new land and cleaning house… she will go back to sleep and just remind us on occasion she is still here, when she rocks us to sleep… Her life force is our life force… we are of the stars, moon & sun… We all grow at our own pace…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

My earliest memory is before the age of 2... by the time I was 13, I had no childhood memories... No holidays, no birthdays... On 11/5/17 a shooter in Texas changed all that... It triggered my memories from my 13th year... The Air Force covered it up an it happened in Big Springs, Texas 1967... Domestic violence, PTSD, TBI and I too served in the Air Force 10 years later... This is my story to remember what was stolen...