Sadness is fading…

The depression only has so much control over this part of my journey… When I was told I had clinical depression a long time ago, I did not understand what they meant, I did not know, they had no clue why I was depressed, but they treated the depression with drugs and that just seem to make things even worse…

I knew that the only way to get past all this sadness and depressive feelings was to first of all figure out why… well that came about on Nov 7, 2017… as I talked about earlier… So now I  knew the why… understanding the why, holy crap on a cracker, probably not going to happen…

It’s that acceptance that is allowing all this depressive and sad feelings to move on… to hold on to them, is to feed the dark side and frankly, I have had my stomach full of the dark side… it’s time to move on…

That is the direction I am placing my thought process… doesn’t mean I am giving up on this journey to remember what happened to Margie… it just means, I can not change what happened… 

I can feel the sadness fading… I have those moments of happiness and promise of a better today so that tomorrow holds no fear…

It will take time and moving back to the mainland will help… the journey to Texas will be an experience like no other… one that I hope will give me the answers I seek… as the living refuses to give them to me… cowards to the end…

Pele has taken to shaking us a little more and is very active… We watch the glow of the lava as it heads to the ocean at night and hear the once in a while explosion of lava hitting the ocean… It is with awe we watch our local news and see the massive lava flow in that one small area of our island… Pele is changing the face of Hawaii forever and I get to watch it out my kitchen window…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

My earliest memory is before the age of 2... by the time I was 13, I had no childhood memories... No holidays, no birthdays... On 11/5/17 a shooter in Texas changed all that... It triggered my memories from my 13th year... The Air Force covered it up an it happened in Big Springs, Texas 1967... Domestic violence, PTSD, TBI and I too served in the Air Force 10 years later... This is my story to remember what was stolen...