Sadness is fading…

The depression only has so much control over this part of my journey… When I was told I had clinical depression a long time ago, I did not understand what they meant, I did not know, they had no clue why I was depressed, but they treated the depression with drugs and that just seem to make things even worse…

I knew that the only way to get past all this sadness and depressive feelings was to first of all figure out why… well that came about on Nov 7, 2017… as I talked about earlier… So now I  knew the why… understanding the why, holy crap on a cracker, probably not going to happen…

It’s that acceptance that is allowing all this depressive and sad feelings to move on… to hold on to them, is to feed the dark side and frankly, I have had my stomach full of the dark side… it’s time to move on…

That is the direction I am placing my thought process… doesn’t mean I am giving up on this journey to remember what happened to Margie… it just means, I can not change what happened… 

I can feel the sadness fading… I have those moments of happiness and promise of a better today so that tomorrow holds no fear…

It will take time and moving back to the mainland will help… the journey to Texas will be an experience like no other… one that I hope will give me the answers I seek… as the living refuses to give them to me… cowards to the end…

Pele has taken to shaking us a little more and is very active… We watch the glow of the lava as it heads to the ocean at night and hear the once in a while explosion of lava hitting the ocean… It is with awe we watch our local news and see the massive lava flow in that one small area of our island… Pele is changing the face of Hawaii forever and I get to watch it out my kitchen window…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....