Detached…

Not sure how to explain this, it is as if you are on the outside looking into your own life…

I so wish someone, anyone would have come forward and told me about the Traumatic brain injury… it would have explained so many decades of watching my life go by instead of participating in it… so much time lost… because it had to be kept a secret…

Why??? I have no clue… I learned a long time ago, people in power, be it the president of the United States or a mother & father… People in power will use that power to their advantage… Its mental illness at its best….

These kind of people will lie until they are 6 feet under…. they will never admit the truth, they will never own their behavior, they will never accept reality and they will do everything they can to destroy you if you get in their way…

It is the kind of home I lived in… an because of the horrific things that went on in that house, I learned to detach from reality….

I can tell you more about things outside that home in my first 18 years than I can tell you about inside that home… Even then, outside the home, there are large holes of memory loss…

When I asked my mother about the loss memory, she refused to answer… she was afraid… she knew I had I a unique memory ability as a child, much of that ability is no more because of the brain injury… but what memories that were not beat out of me, give me a glimpse into the life of Margie and what she went through….

I have no emotional attachment to my birth family… since I know I don’t have dementia, and we know I have some repressed memories… my birth family had every opportunity to come forward an tell me what happened to Margie … NONE did…

So lately I have felt detached from the life I started on this planet… no emotions attached to the people involved… to me, they haven’t played a part in my existence for several decades, I do not expect that to change… the reason being, they turned into the very people who manipulated and molded them into the people they are today and frankly… I don’t like any of them… they are all bigots… and fake christians, but then that is a cult religion and mental illness does play into that segment of their lives…

No I was discarded over greed, envy, falsehoods, prejudice, bigotry and a man-made religion they all hide behind…

That is their choice and I leave them to their choice… with them on the outside looking in as they always have done… imagining my life instead of being a part of it…

The detached feeling is still there, but I use it as a refuge to focus on the book, not to escape the reality of the birth family and their bigotry… I gave, I got nothing in return… I have nothing more to give…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

Domestic violence, rape and assault are not new in America or the world... but it is accepted in the highest offices of our government in America... The catholic church, in congress and the white house... you can use and abuse people as long as you can make everyone believe the words coming out of your mouth.... My body shows the evidence of domestic violence and Air Force cover up... I am just one among millions whose government was complicit in rape and domestic violence... Until women step up and vote with their voice... Men in power, will protect men in power and do it in the name of your god and country.... Your voice, your vote...