Waylaid…

Just when I think things might be getting into a routine of normal sleep, wham, bam thank you, I have a major nightmare… UGH!!! PTSD has its own agenda and after so many decades of it, I am over it!!!

It does throw a wrench into my day when this happens… Usually it will cause some paranoia and irritability and my ole friend depression… Mostly it means loss of sleep and a long day ahead, waiting for bed time…

Dragged out of bed at 4 AM always means a long day unless it is planned… The tightness of my shoulders tells me I am carrying the weight of that nightmare with me through the day… with flash’s of the horror it held, going past my eyes during the day, when I am trying to focus on something or anything else… not wanting to deal with the horror I saw last night…

I see it this way… There is something buried deep in my brain… Something important and Margie is fighting me all the way… She doesn’t want to relive it and I am trying to take that heavy sledge-hammer and beat down the walls of Margies cell…

Fear… it’s always about fear… I guess that is why people turn to man-made religion… they fear life so much, they hide from it… as for me… I have hope that what is ever buried deep because of Margie, gets to see the light of day…

No depression this time… no sad feelings or wanting to hide… nope… just tired and ready to go back to bed to finish what the nightmare started…

Facing your fears will give you so much inner peace… I know I have done it repeatedly over the last 7 months…

Fear is the mind killer, I will face my fears and only I will remain… That is what I am doing, facing my fears and all that remains is me…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: maggi9454

Domestic violence, rape and assault are not new in America or the world... but it is accepted in the highest offices of our government in America... The catholic church, in congress and the white house... you can use and abuse people as long as you can make everyone believe the words coming out of your mouth.... My body shows the evidence of domestic violence and Air Force cover up... I am just one among millions whose government was complicit in rape and domestic violence... Until women step up and vote with their voice... Men in power, will protect men in power and do it in the name of your god and country.... Your voice, your vote...