I Remember…

Why is that so important in this process…. With so much of my memory from my youth missing, trying to figure out certain aspects and characteristics that started this journey to remember… What was and when was my first clue… Eureka… I remember….

Upon our return from Okinawa in 72, the first thing I did was go take an entrance exam into the Air Force… which I failed on so many levels, fresh out of high school and I failed the tests???  The Navy called and said they would take me with those scores … Ships, water, movement…. no thank you I told them… So off I went to live my life and left home and started the process of figuring out what the hell was wrong with me…

Life came along and upset that process… I gave birth to 2 children… and that was when I decided to retake the Air Force entrance tests and passed, with flying colors, I had my choice of careers… That was 5 years after taking the test the first time…. What changed…

I removed myself from my birth family… That one move to put distance between me and them was the smartest thing I ever did… Oh an yes my phone rang off the hook hearing from them and I got all kinds of mail back then from them…. NOT….

I knew by the time I had given birth to my 2nd child and had been sedated with IV drip to keep my labor from happening after an appendectomy, the dreams or I should say nightmares started and they have never stopped… that was 1977…

In the military I took a psych exam and its results were never duplicated by the following 6 tests by the VA… So the psych exams by the VA, in just sure volume of results are what we go with… Above average intelligence, self-aware and suffers from PTSD… that is the official statement from the VA records of 2011… the doctor also stated that he believed I had Edectic memory but would need further testing… this doctor was murdered by a patient at the El Paso VA a couple of years later… the man was brilliant and the best mental health worker I ever had the pleasure of dealing with…

So with that knowledge I have been pursuing the question my mother refused to answer in 2010 in her kitchen… Why am I missing memory…

Do I think that there are other casualties in the family that may have suffered a non violent brain injury… I can’t tell you that answer… I don’t remember…. I don’t know… I won’t assume… I mean geez the youngest is the same age as my 2nd child… My siblings never knew me, only what their mother and father told them… the pattern of implanted memories was one of my best clues in 96 when I saw the family after a 13 year distance… I could hear mother telling her stories, which my siblings repeated… only one problem… when I recalled that story, it was a flat out lie and was always a cover for the violent attacks… you know the con… smoke and mirrors… that’s why it was so easy to pick Trump out as a con… I grew up in a house full of them… Thats why I was thankful to that doctor telling what I suspected about the memory ability… I made sure to learn how to tell the difference between fake news and the real story… I have talked about it in previous blogs the black and white fades to color and moves… If the memory is false, it will never take on a life… Its a fake made up story used as a smoke screen…. just like what Trump does…

So for me, I just know since that day I flunked the entrance exam into the air force at the age of 18… I have been pursuing the truth and learning along the way that no one but me will find it… Why…. Because this story is about Margie… not the other players in the house… this is about finding Margie and setting her free…

Once she has her freedom, then ask me for help… Till then… Margie is my one and only priority… she has been in prison since the Texas incident… No 13-year-old should ever die at the hands of her family and they get away with it… No child deserves what these monsters did… its not god that needs to forgive them…. its me… All they have to do is own their lives and their part in that house… All they have to do is be honest with me and their god…

Know what??? It will never happen… Bullies are cowards and cowards never do what is right… Never… That’s why they hide behind god… or politics or money or power… Either way… Cowards never own their lives… its everyone else at fault… gee that did sound like Trump…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…..

 

Author: maggi9454

My earliest memory is before the age of 2... by the time I was 13, I had no childhood memories... No holidays, no birthdays... On 11/5/17 a shooter in Texas changed all that... It triggered my memories from my 13th year... The Air Force covered it up an it happened in Big Springs, Texas 1967... Domestic violence, PTSD, TBI and I too served in the Air Force 10 years later... This is my story to remember what was stolen...

One thought on “I Remember…”

Comments are closed.