I haven’t talked about this, I don’t think… sometimes my short-term memory damage hiccups and I will write about something again… so if I do… sorry… it’s one of those ooops that happens in memory damage….
When I say you can receive a brain injury without any physical damage… this is what I mean and I only know a small amount of info… so please go to web md or one of the university psych pages, this is only what I perceive….
Repressed memories can be brought on by a traumatic event… like the one in Big Springs, Texas… Though I was badly beaten, it doesn’t mean that my brain was injured during this particular beating… the trauma of the events caused me to detach from reality and for all intents and purpose… I shut down and withdrew into the world of books… it was my escape, my alternate reality… at one time I could tell you every book I ever read… I can’t do that now… I gave away about 300 books when we left Arkansas… I haven’t picked one up since I started this journey… I kept one book, which was a gift from my dear friend… more a sister than friend…
I believe that my siblings suffered a non contact brain injury and just by watching how they live their lives… they are fighting demons they don’t even know exist… so they turn to man-made religion instead of psychiatric help…. and I am of no help to them… I am just now exploring the memories that have been brought forward… it takes time to digest the ugly parts, all the while hoping for good memories to come forward… some joy or happiness that might have existed in that house… so many more miles to travel, before I get to turn that light off at the end of the tunnel… so many more miles….
So you can suffer TBI by psychological trauma and never be in an accident or be physically touched… I know I was abused all of my childhood and suffered a impact TBI as a child, before the age of 13 at the hands of my mother…. the event in Texas leads me to believe it was the trauma of the violence that caused me to shut down… but I have no proof that I didn’t suffer a physical brain injury during that violent event…. and my mother is refusing to talk….
My desire, my insatiable need to know… the thirst for the truth and knowledge will give me what I hunger for… 50 years I was running… I am running no more… I walked away from the falseness of religion and I turned to myself…
Nothing in life is insurmountable if you believe in Yourself…. I believe in me so much, I faced the Texas incident, the night Margie died….