Dreams of Childhood…

The last few nights have been dreams of childhood… A christmas long forgotten where we got the game mouse trap… Another christmas of Barbie dolls and I would have prefered tonka trucks… 

A Halloween where mom made home-made goodies to give out, when it was still safe to go out alone and trick or treat…

A family gathering at uncle Dans and aunt Neices house, where the toilet was still out side in a shed… and water was hand cranked into the house….

Nothing new in the memory department… these are memories I always had… the few good times in that house of horrors…

Sleep is natural, no nightmares… does not mean that won’t happen, it just seems to be more gentle dreams at this time… What little I understand about PTSD, once you face the nightmare and own it, accept the memory, no matter how horrible, the nightmare goes away and that seems to be exactly what has happened….

As for the depression, no sign of it and there has been opportunity for it to rear its ugly head into my daily existence… what they say about that part of the PTSD and depression is right also…

After 50 years of PTSD and depression, to have it melt away seems appropriate… I have hope that it is gone for good…

I still have horrors to face and I will in time…  I live for today, tomorrow has yet to happen…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…..

Author: maggi9454

My earliest memory is before the age of 2... by the time I was 13, I had no childhood memories... No holidays, no birthdays... On 11/5/17 a shooter in Texas changed all that... It triggered my memories from my 13th year... The Air Force covered it up an it happened in Big Springs, Texas 1967... Domestic violence, PTSD, TBI and I too served in the Air Force 10 years later... This is my story to remember what was stolen...