Depression & Neuropathy….

When I was told I had clinical depression and no one knew why I was depressed… wonder why red flags didn’t go off??? Again VA doctor, psychological testing, yada, yada, yada…. a few years before the last test…

What I am learning about neuropathy is you can have depression because of it… Ya know the shrink at El Paso VA, who did my Eval in 11, stated in my file that I had PTSD associated with my illness… though what illness he didn’t say… I have been told I have Fibromyalgia by a RA doctor… I was told by a GI doctor that I had Gerd and Irritable Bowl Syndrome… I was told by a urologist I had IC (interstitial cystitis) and recently I was told I have this weird Tachycardia issue… So I wonder what illness he was referring too… get my drift… The doctor was close… He was right about the PTSD and depression, but not the illness… I don’t have the ones above, I have Autonomic Neuropathy and have had it since the beating at the age of 6… explains why I was so thin… it still happens to this day… got down to 114 pounds in 98 and I was only 44 yrs old… nice weight, but I looked like Olive Oil…

Back to the depression… I used to be so optimistic, ya know glass half empty or half full, however that analogy goes… I think that is what has help me make it through the last 9 months since waking up… My attitude started changing because I was getting my answers… and the answers I couldn’t get, I am comfortable in waiting for them… No anxiety, no depression or fear that things will go back to the way they were… Nope just plodding along, step by step… evaluating the memories as they present themselves…

Now when tears come to my eyes it’s because of anything else but not the past… It’s just life… living it, feeling it, enjoying it…

Depression —–1000         Maggi ++++1,000,000,000 and going strong…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember….

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....