Here we go again….

Hurricane Lane or tropical storm Lane which will go hurricane sometime in the next 24 hours is headed our way… Never fails, I move someplace and mother nature puts on one hell of a show…

First the volcano decided to move a little closer to us and opened up 23 fissures just a few miles away and has decided to take a nap and now our 2nd hurricane of the season… I am beginning to think I really need a vacation…. some place dry…

As we go through the process to prepare for what is coming in a few days my mind drifts from one memory to another… Ya know, I don’t get to look long at the memory… it pops into my sight and then its gone… but I know the memory intimately, even though I haven’t seen it for many decades…. Don’t know if this is a side effect from this weekends body melt down or if it’s just part of the repressed memories coming into the light… 

Either way, the memories bring a comfort and peace as they start to fill the hole left in me by domestic violence… So many decades of mental anguish and mother only had to tell me what happened so I could heal and she refused… Her revenge is complete…

Her taking my child and warping its thought process… Allowing that child to be raped by my own sibling and she did not stop it… Her refusal to tell me what happened when Margie died, making my journey to remember that much more difficult… but not impossible… she couldn’t deny me… she couldn’t stop me from remembering…. yes the woman who says she knows her god, will take the secret to her grave… only to find out that there is no heaven or hell… We live and we die… nothing more, nothing less… You get one chance at life… Live a lie of religion, always afraid of your shadow or live a life of reality and thrive in the beauty of our world that is just a fluke of nature… Nothing more, nothing less…

Never go to your grave regretting what you wanted to do but didn’t because you were afraid… Fear is the mind killer, I will face my fear and let it pass through me and only I will remain… Believe in yourself… you are real flesh and blood… gods are fantasy, imagination and a wish for what you can’t have, because you refuse to work for it, so you pray… prayer never solved anything on this planet, its just a feel good fake out… Life is worth living, you just have to want it… you just have to believe in yourself… You just have to face your fears…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…

Author: maggi9454

Domestic violence, rape and assault are not new in America or the world... but it is accepted in the highest offices of our government in America... The catholic church, in congress and the white house... you can use and abuse people as long as you can make everyone believe the words coming out of your mouth.... My body shows the evidence of domestic violence and Air Force cover up... I am just one among millions whose government was complicit in rape and domestic violence... Until women step up and vote with their voice... Men in power, will protect men in power and do it in the name of your god and country.... Your voice, your vote...