Memories…

It has been a week for them… some, like I have said before, I know intimately… they are familiar, just shaking the dust off of them…

The one memory that came back with stomach churning revelation is the one I am liking right now…

It has to do with the TV interview that instigated the first beating by my mother that I have posted pictures of before on the blog… 

After that beating for telling the truth, we had a road trip and saw my uncle Johnny and his family… in one of those picture my aunt is in it… my left arm is also swollen from blunt force trauma and my right wrist is broken as well as the little finger… X-rays proved that when I was in the military… so why did no one turn these people in… because they were all doing it in the name of your god…

Back to the memory… so this road trip, someone, don’t know who, dad or uncle wanted to go for a drive, back then you could afford to just go for a drive… what happened next, never left my memory, it was always in the forefront of my memories… why because it made me happy even though I was afraid of another beating…

I am in the front seat between dad and uncle and we be driving and all of a sudden, everything I had eaten a couple of hours earlier came out, un-digested… the hallmark of autonomic neuropathy… from that day forward at the age of 6, I fought with all I have, to not vomit… I learned to hate it that much, because my mother beat me with a rod, because she was embarrassed by the accelerated growth of her 3rd child… which I have written about… because my mother is a religious psycho path… FACT!!!

I always wondered why that one memory of me puking my guts out all over the 2 worse men on the planet for domestic violence… now I know… I may have never gotten even with those 2 bastards for what they did to their partners and children… that one time puking on them and stinking up that fancy new car, was the only revenge I ever got against those 2 abusers… and its called Karma…

It’s funny how the memories present themselves… I can be talking to hubby, which he probably wish’s I had another sounding board… or I can be just thinking about something or it can be stress related… regardless… if the memory is not familiar and has no substance I have to let it go… but that has not been the case lately… keeping the family out of the picture, keeps their false rhetoric from clouding the issues…

What does any of this mean… it means my memories are flooding back into my waking mind… what I thought was gone forever, was just hidden away until I was ready to face the reality of the domestic violence in the name of christians god…

What was once an empty whole in my heart and soul is filling up…. This is going to be one fun part of the ride…. or it could not… psychic I am not, nor is anyone else… but my instincts tell me to be open about what is coming….

Rain and wind is our biggest threat from Lane… it is sitting on us and dumping as much rain as the ocean can give up… it feels like a wet sponge in the house… everything feels sticky… but we are all alive and so far no deaths…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....