Hubby likes the old me…. giggle…

The child I was before the brain injury was a caring child…it never changed, just the way people percieve me or judge me because they think they have a right and they do not… they never did…  

I can name so many instances after abuse I would still hug the parent or sibling that caused it… I didn’t understand what was happening, I was a child born self-aware and already old… so old that I never got to live my childhood… it was stolen because of envy and hate….

How do you recover from such a journey, knowing for 63 years your mother manipulated everyone with such skill and mental illness…

How do you reconcile the damage done to the other siblings and their inability or lack of desire to grow and be better people… They are hiding… still using their god to protect them, from themselves….

The little girl I remember was everything any parent would want, except for one thing the family never wanted…. honesty….

That little girl named Margie would pay for that honesty until Nov 7, 2017…. What started in a little town in Colorado in 1954 culminated on that day, because a ex-Air Force member murdered 26 people in Texas…. on Nov 5, 2017… 

TBI & PTSD, boy can they ever rock your world like nothing else on this planet….

Margie has been pushing her personality on me and that has been my trigger, I realized that this morning… Margie has come out to play and has no plans of ever taking a recess… 

I have missed her… though hubby has spewed his food more than once thanks to that little minx…

Depression gone, sadness once in a while, because I can not help my siblings… they have to want to heal and I just don’t see that happening… ego, self-centered, narrow-minded… no I doubt they can grow… they like their misery…they like their narrative…  so on the outside looking in it will be for them in my world… 

I own my mistakes in life… I did not commit sins… I made poor choices and have spent a life time making better choices, I said I was sorry and meant it…

I chose me… I believe in me… and I believe in the good I can do in my little part of the world… all because of Margie….

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…..

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....