It’s Not Your Life You Remember….

How do I tell this and it get the message across… I so wish I could copy and paste the psychiatric paper I read… It fits this subject to a “T”….. So I will try to do my best…. It’s been a morning for revelations after last night, so I am being flooded with many memories all at once…. so lets see If I can do this…. The story goes like this…..

A birthday party was going down and there were 2 little girls,  sisters… the older sister was having a birthday party and she got many gifts and one in particular stuck out to the younger sister and this is where the memory is taken from the older sister and owned by the younger as her own… Even though it did not happen the way she remembers….

The gift the older girl got was a locket and it was from her mother… The younger sister became fixated on the locket and in her mind it was hers and not her sisters….. She carried that fixation of that memory into her adult life… She became a psychiatrist… It was her aha moment… she displaced the real memory with one of her own making…

It did not make the girl’s memory any less real, but it was based on the fantasy she created in her head about the locket…

The same can go for life… My sibling has displaced me in their memories and made my life about themselves… and that sibling cannot figure out why the other siblings don’t give a rats ass about their life… Simple… They know the real person… and that person was anything but nice and the instigator for many of my beatings…

I was the nice one, I was the one that went out of their way to comfort or soothe or run interference when the belt came out… I was the one they called at Mather AFB when dad started in on mom and this was before the last sibling was born… 

I was the one… Not you…. 

Get help, you need it… I can not fix your world… You have to face what you did in collusion with mom… You have to accept responsibility for your actions… You envied my life so much, you displaced me and continue to do so and have no desire to stop… You want what you can never have… be a good person without the label christian… 

Now you understand why I left your god… it does not, nor has it ever existed except in your brain… because you can not face what you did, no more than mother facing it…

No more “Secrets”, no more “Circle of Silence”… You need to open your eyes and heart, until you do… just as you displaced me… there is no room for you being me… I don’t need the label to be a good person… I always have been… the one thing christians don’t get… I was already good without your god… I was already good and still am… You can not say the same… None of you can…truth will set you free…. Truth…..

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....