Abstract thinking, not my forte???

When I took my entrance test into the air force at 18, I flunked miserably… remember I had no memory of the physical assaults, except the blow on Okinawa…. and when I saw what I flunked on the test I was really shocked… How did I graduate from high school then??? Always more questions than answers when it comes to my childhood…

On the entrance test into the air force, there is this section where you have to visually put box’s and the like together… in other words, if you couldn’t see the forest for the trees, you were screwed… come to find out my dad had the same issue when he took his test to enter the military in 52…. genetics… no clue…

I also used to have a problem with dyslexia… numbers and letters… again how I made it through school and the military and ending my civil service 24 years later… you got me… persistence maybe… nope… not that either….

What it all boiled down too… was the TBI’s had their impacts on 4 regions of my brain… this impacts every facet of your life when all these sections of the brain sustain injury… 58 years of living with it, no one gets it more than me… not even the doctors….

What changed… waking up Nov 7, 2017…. When I remembered Big Springs, Texas… Webb Air Force Base, circa 1967 to 1968…..

When I remembered what happened when I was 13 years old… Margie got louder and louder and louder, until their was no silencing her anymore….

What does this have to do with the abstract thinking and tests… in 2011 I underwent an extensive psych evaluation at the El Paso VA… and I quote… Above average intelligence with PTSD associated with her illness… he also mentioned but did not document my memory ability, I think, it may be in writing… read to many records lately, lots to keep straight…. He was a good doctor, may he RIP….

When I do abstract thinking now, it’s not frustrating and I actually understand when my hubby is trying to explain to me why he does things the way he does…. may not agree, but I get it…

I have not had an issue with dyslexia, since Dec 2017…. within about a month after waking up from my nightmare, my brain re-booted Margie back into existence….. you got me, on why it worked this way for me… I still have headaches in all 4 sections that are injured… I still see a kalidescope of colors because of it… thus the EEG in a couple weeks to see if I have been having seizures all these decades… don’t think I have, but, the brain is not an easy subject and we know so little… maybe why I have memory loss, if their are seizures there… but I had this test and I thought it was 98, but it was in 2000 in Wenatchee, WA for SS…. it was normal… don’t think this one will be any different… but the doc wants it done… so go with the pro’s on this one… sometimes you have to jump through hoops before the professionals sit back and say, okay you are as smart as you say and you have proved everything you said… 

You have no idea how many times I have done this before and the doctors ego rarely admits a layman is just as informed as they are…. 40 years of it….. I am alive and some of them are not… including the family that I warned of impending death…. all you have to do, be observant of the world around you… imagine if we all did that, how much better our lives would be… then no one could get away with the raping of America like Trump is doing…. because we would all be watching each others back… maybe someday… when all you see….

Is another human being….

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…..