Privacy Means So Much To Me…

Privacy did and still does mean much to me, but I was pushed out of my comfort zone and as I explained earlier in the blog…

I have been trying to give background stories, so that what I am trying to convey makes sense, even to me down the road… it doesn’t always happen… my brain farts as I call them, impact my thought process… what I think is appropriate one writing, I will find offensive in the next… why… HEADACHES…. if you have a TBI, I really don’t have to explain this any further…. If you have never had a TBI, It won’t matter what I say, unless you are living it with a partner, child, parent or friend… if you don’t pay attention, you will miss all the signs… 

When a young deranged airman killed 26 people in a small Texas town… 26 people died so that Margie could live and they never knew how their death could have such a life-giving gift to a child that died at 13 because of another childs birth…

Though I have been married 6 times, none of them knew me, like the man I am married to now… for one good reason… I never talked to any of them… Trust is earned, not given… even in marriage…

When I lost all trust in mental health, when they treated my 6-year-old like a sexual predator, so they could protect the 1st Sargeant of the base… When I was beaten at the age of 6 and was told by my mother, I was to never talk about my siblings to anyone… When I was told by a supervisor, when I reported a rape at Vance AFB and his comment was what did I do to invite such behavior… When I watched corruption go down in the federal government after a couple of decades working there… When my own sibling lied about stories told to me by them at an earlier time…. 

Who was I to trust??? The church lied to me, they allowed the abuse and encouraged it… The military lied to me, about my own health, injuries and crimes against myself and my child… My mother lied to me and the whole family, so as to keep her dirty secrets quiet and most of all my sibling lied to me, not once but multiple times….

Only one person has ever stood with me, by me and for me… my husband of 24 years… He earned my trust and he earned my respect and he will piss me off just for giggles…. but I trust him with my life and no one else on this earth has ever earned that….

For anyone to say they know… would be a lie… No one does…

You only know what you think you know… 

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…. Margie…

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....