Childbirth & Margies Song…

Watching Serena Williams act like a child instead of an adult brought forth a memory that is very painful and was another aha moment that I just filed away, because I knew the person’s actions were pivotal to my past… which you will understand why I have very little patience for a spoiled tennis star….

My 2nd pregnancy was normal, baby was healthy and I was due to deliver in May… well things didn’t go exactly as the doctor planned… when has nature ever followed human rules???

By my 6 month of pregnancy something happened that made the doctor think I was having appendicitis attack and they opted to remove my appendix at 6 months of pregnancy… oh boy… what came next was a roller coaster ride of alcohol infused IV’s to keep me from going into labor after major surgery… minor surgery if you are not pregnant…

Anyway… I was forced to carry the baby 10 months and the child was born blue and small…  some challenges ahead…

Well the kid was born 6/22/77 and I left for basic training on 9/22/77…. I had to leave my baby at 2 months…. about 5 weeks into basic training my sister miscarried a baby and she wants me to leave basic training and come pick up one of my kids and take it to my parents… 

Wow… just wow…. there was so many things my dad & brother-in-law could have done, to keep me from leaving basic… they were active duty and they knew what would happen if I left, they KNEW!!!… but this was all about the sister who miscarried… it was and still is about her… but not the way she thinks it should be… no she doesn’t get it… but we all know why… prima donna… is an understatement…

When I got back to basic I was set back in my training and had to stay there a few more weeks… all because my family made it about my sister… the very one who swears we are close, that we have a bond…. maybe in the twilight zone…

I can remember standing in her living room on that base, knowing I couldn’t stay there and cuddle my children and nuzzle my baby… I had to get on a military hop and get back to basic or I was AWOL….

The pain of that moment and having to leave my kids again… broke my heart and soul in half… because once again it was all about the sister that cost me so much as I was growing up…. the one that swears we are close….

I would have done all I could to keep anyone from spending more time away from their new-born baby… but it wasn’t about me… it never was in that house… it was about her… it was always her…. and I remember the beatings……. because of her…..

How this person ever thought we were close after what they pulled when I was going through the hardest thing ever with a body that was already broken because of her and the head viper…. she tore my heart out making me leave basic training… 

I know she never understood the expression on my face or anything else about me during those moments in her home… because it still is about her… it always will be…

As my heart beat settles, because the pain is as fresh as it was that day in the fall of 77… I knew then, what I knew about my family was a lie and I would have a long road ahead of me… I just didn’t understand it then… I do now…

I first had to live life and find the time to find me…. and then I heard it….

Margies song…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…. Margie….

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....