Wishful Thought….

From the beginning, I have been 100% honest in telling you  the story of Margies Song…. If I am honest with myself, I have to keep pushing outside my comfort zone and confront all that stands in my path to recovery….

It is not the violence that I feared facing… No, it was facing the knowledge that what I had carried with me my whole life, but, refused to accept the reality of it… I was not wanted in that house… that I never had, nor am I likely to have a relationship with any of the people who were in that house and for one good reason…

I refuse to be abused any longer… No more picking up the phone and calling me to solve yet another problem someone got themselves into… No more giving up homes and paying bills for other people, just so they can tell me to go piss off… No more abuse from grandchildren, because their own parents won’t or will not own their own behavior and accept the damage they inflicted on their own children and said children think it is okay to take it out on Mike and I…. 

I can count the mother’s day cards…. Zero… I can count the birthday cards…. Zero… I can count the cards after major surgery or checking on Mike after heart surgery… Instead it was abuse, because you thought we owed you????

Guess what butter cup, we don’t owe you Jack… and until you grow the balls to stand in front of me and look in my eyes and apologize and mean it…. you are no better than the ones that abused a little girl…

Until then, not in my world, not in my life… That wishful thought… I had hoped what I knew about my sister was wrong… I had hoped…. I have let go of that thought …. Reality is an ugly bed fellow and this reality was one I have been trying to confirm for decades… I got my aswer last night… I have no sister… I never did… it was just a romantic dream that helped me to survive the worse time of my life…

Growing up in an abusive christian home…  That all stopped when I heard Margies Song….

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember…. Margie….