Where have all the flowers gone….

They say Karma is a bitch… They say Reality is a bitch and they say Mother Nature is a bitch… okay enough with the bitch crap already… and it has to start with me….

My desire… no that is not the right word… Fear is trying very hard to work its way into my reality and by fear I mean Maggi is trying to run away from what Margie is trying to show her… A pattern of behavior that is all to familiar… I dislike it when words come back and bite me in my little flat ass…

Mike would say fear is not something I know much about and he is referring to my behavior to never allow anyone, no matter who they are, try and bully me or manipulate me, including him… I put my life at risk more times than I can count standing up to other people… and for that I was labeled “Bitch”….  offensive, insensitive and degrading and we do it to our selves…. why… Fear…

There are many forms of fear I have to deal with on this journey to tell Margies story… some I have taken possession of and I own them and they no longer own me… yet there is still some fear, small hints of it at the weirdest time or place… those are the ones bothering me right now… Margie is pushing me and I am not all to sure I like it… Why??? Fear…

PTSD has lots of fear in it… you relive the horror of what you went through… only you know how painful the experience was and still is… people in the Republican party need to experience what that truly feels like for decades, I wish it would be so… but then my guilt would be great as I want no one to ever endure what I have… No one… I kept my humanity… christian god could not take it or break mine….

I wrote about it before, Empathy… we have lost it and instead have taken the hand of a man who is the personification of evil and his swamp and people support them…

I have seen this before and I feel my age for just a flash of a moment and I know what is about to happen will hurt our country for a long time… a nation that has allowed religious bigots to show the world… America is not the land of the free… Women are not allowed to own their own body… bigots think they do, but refuse to pay for or support the people they discriminated against… bigotry at its best… While those in office are bought and paid for with outside money…. 

I have hope… I will always cling to hope as I do what I need to protect my own… my government won’t do it for me, if they did… Puerto Rico would not be suffering a year later…

TimesUp #MeToo

I Remember… Margie….