Bring it on!!!

Very little sleep last night, in fact I gave up and took a muscle relaxer and that nudge me into lala land… finally!!! 

My brain is just running from point A to B to C to D and beyond infinity… sorry couldn’t resist…watched to many cartoons with the grandkids….

So the doc wants to run more tests per the neurologist findings on the EEG… and other than having a scan of my brain by CT or MRI… there will be no more testing….

What the so-called professional mental health did to me, there is no excuse except they made assumptions and pigeon holed me into a category… because they didn’t do their job… and of course, we didn’t know about the TBI either… so I do cut them some slack… for back then… not anymore….

The reason I won’t submit to a sleep study or psych testing… I have my answers and I do not need to pursue this any further for the medical side of this journey… If they want a scan of the brain, yep, they can do it… if they want me to do psych testing… nope, had my final one in 2011 and that is the only one that got anything right…. and he labeled me with PTSD… so there is the reason for the abnormal brain waves… and since the doctors here can’t find anything in our VA records, listening to the patient becomes even more important… but they do not listen, they hear what they want to hear and the patient is struggling to understand how they pay for a service and get treated like an employee!!!

Behavior modification only works if  there is a need for correction… Mike will tell you straight up, I do not need anything like that… All I ever needed was answers to why things worked the way they do in me… thus why I asked the Air Force shrink when they were trying to kick me out if you could change your personality… he looked at me like I grew 4 heads at that moment in time… when he should have said… we need to do an EEG… because that question was a cry for help in 1982, when I knew something was wrong with my brain… but it was more important for the Air Force to bury the truth about rape and attempted murder at Vance AFB in 1981…. Powerful men protecting powerful men… and I lost my career and spent the next 35 years trying to get the answers that I started asking in 1978… when the neuropathy and brain disorder was taking its toll…. but image was more important than me or my children…. Professor Ford got that message loud and clear from the GOP… their agenda more important than truth….

Medically there is nothing more to find out…. I have ALL my health records from 1971 to present… and there is nothing in any of them about the trauma my parents did to a little girl…whose only mistake, believe in their god and tell the truth… so they tried beating the truth out of that little girl and instead…they beat their god out of her instead….no one on this earth has laid a hand on me in violence, except, mom, dad and sister…. No auto accidents…only domestic violence…..

Just a FYI… if you have been told you are Bi-polar and have never had and EEG… then you should get a 2nd opinion…. because they tried so hard to pin me with a label and couldn’t… because in 2011, I showed the world that I was waking up and that the VA and military lied for decades…. sad to know your own government does this to anyone… I am just one of millions they do this too… and the VA system is no longer a health care system… it’s a private club for veterans who have zero business doing anything with patients… bigotry was alive and well when I was active duty and it has just grown out of control since Trump took office….

The day has started and we have a room to paint so we can sleep in our bedroom tonight… I missed our king bed last night…

I am so happy… I have nothing that is life threatening… I passed that test many times before and the only test left to do now….

Live…..

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie….

 

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....