CTE… always possible….

Before I get busy, want to make sure I note this….

CTE will always be a possibility with me… 

I know that I suffered 5 blows to the head from age 6 to 17…. 

I have a indention in the right side of my skull were the temporal lobe is and that is one of my headache sectors and the EEG showed 2 possible abnormal sites… the other the left temporal lobe… the location of my other headaches… then you got the occipital and frontal… again these are the 4 places I have had headaches for as long as I can remember… and no one could find a reason… and of course in all their wisdom… no one ordered an EEG, until I went for social security disability and they did one in 1998 and you got it… same results…. abnormal brain waves… and this was before I knew I was missing memory….

It is amazing how waking up from a nightmare not of your making and the freedom that comes with it….

I have issues, but nothing like what the shrinks thought I had, before we knew of the PTSD… so instead of telling me since 1982 when the Air Force did the evaluation that I had PTSD… they said I had a mood disorder… again… powerful men protecting powerful men… and I paid a heavy price for that lie in 1982 by the Air Force shrink…. he should have done an EEG… instead, he went by a paper test… that would have never been normal, as long as I did not know of the missing memory…

When they did the test at El Paso VA in 2011… I had already confronted my mother in 2010 about the missing memory and that is why that one test was 100% different from all the rest… my brain was waking up….

The studies show that most people recover and get memories back in days, weeks or months… but it is rare for it to last this many decades… not unheard of, but rare… so you got it… I am a rare jewel…. 

CTE is high on my list for the future… just being aware of the pit falls of CTE… I can cope and teach myself how to deal with things in a different way… in other words, I do my own behavior modification without medication or interference from a worthless health care system…..

Since I remember the test in Oregon, if they do scan my brain… I expect it to be negative for lesions/scarring or blood clots… those would have shown up in 2000 and nothing has changed since then…. except for Margie waking up….

I have studied CTE and I already make adjustments for the impacts that it could have… and diet is the most important… I get very angry when hungry and CTE can enhance that anger…. Hubby is learning to tell the difference between my being pissed and just excited and animated about the subject I am discussing and he is forced to listen…..

I have hope… CTE will be tested via our blood some day… Do I need to worry… No, the change since waking up is even noticeable to me… what others see has no value… just what I think is important… and doubting myself is a thing of the past…. I have faith and trust that my research all these years is what helped me to maintain my sanity…

Now its time to digest, let the doc scan the brain if she wants and get on with living my life…

I have my answers… Domestic violence left me with 5 brain injuries and external and internal neuropathy that I have lived with since 6 years old… Domestic violence and old song, sung thru the ages… along with Rock of Ages as they beat and rape the life they say god created… so the christians would have someone to abuse and get away with it…  isn’t that so Judge Kavanaugh and President Trump….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie….