I was just watching CNN about the Florida panhandle and Mexico beach and the devastation they are dealing with and a survivor made a statement that hit me between the eyes… “All the landmarks are gone, the bank to turn to come home, does not look like a bank… nothing looks like it did before, its chaos, how do you cope?”……
That is the perfect statement for someone who has PTSD or TBI…. our familiar landmarks, or thought process has changed… it does not look nor feel like it did before the storm… thus it is with the brain….
I could see it happening to me and was powerless to convey my thoughts… the landmarks for making common sense remarks had disappeared and in its place a black hole….. and that black hole took the information with it…. and it takes time for the brain to figure out how to deal with that information that makes sense to the brain, but not always to the person and if you never experienced this, then you might want a 2nd opinion on your mental health…. PTSD & TBI both do this to my brain and I am just now understanding how it all works… because science is catching up to what my brain has been doing since 1960, possibly earlier….
I will never be any one else…. I will always be me… I will always talk and think the way I do, because christians tried to silence my voice by beating their cult Baptist religion into a little girl… a child I can only imagine what might have been… I know the brain was that smart before they tried to destroy it….
I survived… I survived corrupt military medical care, corrupt VA health care and piss poor American health care and I survived…..
I will always know that dementia and CTE are very real possibilities… that goes hand in hand with TBI…. I also know that what the future holds, no one knows and science is always making progress, unlike religion…. or politics…….
I have learned to quiet the chaos and the other little tricks that certain thoughts can change the way the brain works… I may never get all my answers about the domestic violence and my sister will never own her part…. as long as I stay true to myself and know I did all I could to get the answers that started with one question to my mother…..
why did you hate a little girl, whose only fault was to tell the truth???
TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell
I Remember…. Margie….