Fantasy played out…

So many times in the past, before Nov 7, 2017… I would use my meditation the Air Force taught me and I would take myself out of the picture that was making me uncomfortable…

I detached and went into a safe place and just vegetated… maybe only for a few minutes up to a few days of what people call brooding… I have a different name…

Forcing myself to face the reality of the actions of others and realize I have no control over anything or anyone….

Just myself…

Same goes for the next doctor appointment… Short, sweet, to the point, sticking to the talking points and then putting my foot down about a break from all that is going on…

I do have my answer and she didn’t want to hear it…. until the end of the conversation after she went off on me… body slump, sigh, roll my eyes… so give up on college educated people… it’s as if the humanity went out the door because what it cost them financially to achieve being a doctor and they forget why they became a doctor…. yep big sigh….

I am learning, always trying to figure out all the technical and scientific data I read… not always understanding fully, but it points me in the right direction… and you must have a direction… thus why I fought for those results… I have my direction….

I know people who have been told they are bi-polar and some are my siblings… when I know they are simply missing memory…. the trauma was that great…

The attack at Big Springs, Texas… was so violent and vicious… the only child in the house not to know what was going on… the baby, not of my dads blood…

Every sibling I have, was impacted when I nearly died…. Every sibling I have, is living in a hell they did not create… I can not help them… they turned to a fictional god for that help… at one time they would have listened before mom got her claws into their brain… but its to late now… they have to find their way out of the darkness… 

They have to want the truth… or be treated for a mental illness that they never had… which can do so much more harm than good….

Image… all about image… when dad tried so hard to destroy my brain… and they so hoped I would never remember and probably were told by doctors that I wouldn’t remember… only one problem…..

I Remember…. Margie….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDiDntTell

Author: maggi9454

Margie was born into a typical christian military family... Her story is anything but typical... Domestic violence, rape, attempted murder and all done while my dad served in the U. S. Air Force and they buried the truth... then my own children impacted by Air Force cover up while I am active duty.... Rape, Attempted murder, domestic violence and discrimination in the name of the United States Government... and it is still happening as I write... just look at Trump, Kavanaugh and Thomas.... Circle of Silence is no more....