Left Temporal Lobe Headaches…

For the last couple of days, I would say since Thursday and continuing now… I have had a headache in the left temporal lobe…. and now I am understanding why….

The way we make memories is unique to each individual… most of us will witness a crime and when all the statements are gathered from all the witness’s… not any two will be the same description of the perpetrator…. and this is because, our memories change within 30 seconds of making them… and you will never see the incident any other way, than what your memory tells you, unless… there is video evidence or pictures…. to contradict what you “THINK YOU SAW”…..

Then there are people like me… for the longest time, I looked at the way I made memories as taking a picture or video and that was it… never questioned, why my memories were always different from anyone else who had been there or why my memory was more detailed and vivid in description…. I didn’t question that too much, until the 2011 psychiatric evaluation for my VA appeal and what he said as I was leaving after the test… I never forgot… He thought I had a unique memory ability and it needed further testing… I never thought much about what he said, until I got my memories back Nov 7, 2017…. and what does any of this have to do with the left temporal lobe headache….

It seems every time it happens, I get a memory back…. or the memory becomes complete… like the Alabama memory… boob incident, bay of pigs and why I flunked a grade…. my mother beat the crap out of me and injured my brain… because she was embarrassed… told ya, the woman is bat shit crazy and my body shows the proof….

The next time the headaches start-up in that region of the brain and the nausea and want to throw up in the middle of the night… now I know its my memories pushing through… Margie is letting go of her past… so that Maggi can live in the here and now…

Freedom means many things to many people… to me… freedom in knowing what my birth family did and then lied and hid behind a religion, while I struggle to live in the here and now… 

No wonder I have zero love lost for these people… they are no different from the Saudi’s or anyone else who think slavery is alive and well in the 21st century… and murder is a right and not a crime…

As more memories come back and complete the memories that I have always questioned… the more I realize… I wish my dad was alive… just so I could tell him a thing or two and I stop and think….

I did just that before he died and I didn’t even remember all of the abuse… I took that opportunity in his living room… Just like the opportunity I took in my mother’s kitchen…. and neither adult could look at me and own the crimes THEY committed in the name of christians gods…..

The “Circle of Silence” is no more… I remember….

PTSD is not a fun way to live life, add TBI in the mix… there is not enough goodness on this earth to make me forgive any of them for what they did…. They would have to own their lives and they have already shown me… their invisible god means more to them… than my flesh and blood of 64 years… so double down they will just like Trump…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember…. Margie….

Author: maggi9454

Margie was born into a typical christian military family... Her story is anything but typical... Domestic violence, rape, attempted murder and all done while my dad served in the U. S. Air Force and they buried the truth... then my own children impacted by Air Force cover up while I am active duty.... Rape, Attempted murder, domestic violence and discrimination in the name of the United States Government... and it is still happening as I write... just look at Trump, Kavanaugh and Thomas.... Circle of Silence is no more....