Back to Reality….

I had my say about the behavior of adults who act like kids… now it’s back to what is real important….

Every day is new… and I can not even begin to explain what I mean, but, let me see what I can come up with that makes any sense…

There are many emotional feelings that get buried when you have a TBI & PTSD… that butterfly feeling that happens, just because… that warm fuzzy feeling just because you woke up and coffee was ready… or just looking at your soul mate and feeling that warm sensation through out your whole body…. yep, I miss those emotions…

They were there at one time, but by the time the injury in Texas happened… Margie didn’t stand a chance in real life and that is when the jail and jailer, became the same… Me…

Example, got so frustrated with hubby when we tore the floor out the other day… 500 sq ft of laminate flooring, and we are giving it away, so no land fill… so little damage as possible… instead of going off on him, I gave him a wake up call….an he took it to heart and looked at the problem from a different angle and we actually saved the majority of the floor… it’s going to a lava victim from this summers lava flow… they are just now getting back into their home after 5 months of camping… so instead of getting pissed at him… I got him to work with me, not against me… every day is a learning experience…

I still wait for that other shoe to drop… when I really go off on a tangent and see red… but that hasn’t happened… I have been in control, not the chemical reaction in the brain… so it does work, when you change how you act or react, changes your actions, for me, its for the better….

I still have many road blocks… certain things I can not watch on TV, it causes me too much pain, and I don’t know why… so there is work in that area still to do… 

The memories come back at any time of the day or night… so the PTSD part is still there, but the nightmares are gone… I haven’t had a nightmare like I used too, in several months….I wish I had more knowledge between the ears… but, I know that after it’s all said and done… I got the answers I have been looking for since 1968….

TBI & PTSD due to domestic violence….in a christian home… that was more of a prison than a home…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie….

Author: maggi9454

Margie was born into a typical christian military family... Her story is anything but typical... Domestic violence, rape, attempted murder and all done while my dad served in the U. S. Air Force and they buried the truth... then my own children impacted by Air Force cover up while I am active duty.... Rape, Attempted murder, domestic violence and discrimination in the name of the United States Government... and it is still happening as I write... just look at Trump, Kavanaugh and Thomas.... Circle of Silence is no more....