Cycle of Blame, when does it end???

No clue why this thought came to me… busy doing things as always… and a thought that is not foreign to me came to mind… 

“I am tired of looking at the cause of my medical issues”… by this statement you probably think that medically I am done, no more test, etc… and that’s not it…

Backstory… when I watched how my father was made to die with no dignity… the pain was beyond anything I had ever felt, or so I thought…. When I could no longer watch what was happening I left… I had no support to stop what was being done… until the end… then, I made sure he didn’t suffer….

We left for Mexico for 6 months of isolation on the beach in our 5th wheel and I worked on a memorial video for my dad… I shed a couple of tears, but, felt no emotional connection to the person who died… my father….

It has been 12 years since he passed away, and in that time, I learned the truth of the man I once called father… and along the way, the truth about brother, sister, mother, aunt and granny…. the “Circle of Silence”….

I am ready to move on… the thoughts connected to the living and the existing physical damage I live with daily…. I have to choose… what is more important….

Giving my family that never was more thought…. or

I finally get selfish and think of me….

Only time will tell and the writing that follows… is it time for me to let it all go….

Not saying forgive and move on… that will never happen… that is a christian head fake and to forgive anyone who did you bodily harm and they did it willingly, is insanity in my book… I do not have to seek revenge of any kind…. life does that for me…. it’s called….Karma…

Life is what it is and sometimes, you just hope Karma is real and life takes care of those that hurt people… and they fade into the dust of the memories that no longer occupy the mind…

Yes… maybe that time is close at hand…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie…

Author: maggi9454

Margie was born into a typical christian military family... Her story is anything but typical... Domestic violence, rape, attempted murder and all done while my dad served in the U. S. Air Force and they buried the truth... then my own children impacted by Air Force cover up while I am active duty.... Rape, Attempted murder, domestic violence and discrimination in the name of the United States Government... and it is still happening as I write... just look at Trump, Kavanaugh and Thomas.... Circle of Silence is no more....