Scared of my shadow… they tried …

TBI & PTSD are infamous for making your non verbal world a nightmare, and what do I mean by that…

At one time you could make me jump out of my skin by just walking up behind me… and that is a true story… laying in bed and my brain hears a sound and my insides act like they want on the outside….

There were tons of visual cues that impacted me negatively, certain sounds, smells, people’s faces or voices, pictures and videos… all had a negative impact so much so, you would have thought I was autistic… instead, it was TBI & PTSD….

I do not like dark confined spaces for a reason and someone is wanting me to talk about that impact… but not until they own it… or the book comes out… which ever happens first… my heart just raced with the thought of that memory…. always fascinating how the brain reacts and push’s the body, just from a memory….

Even certain thoughts could have a negative impact… thus the break from religion… brain washing and cults… makes ya wonder did some alien species come on our planet and start the superstition… or was it just a genius story-teller… either way… religion has no place when it comes to mental illness… it just makes things worse, because you are telling the brain to believe in something you can no more touch, talk to in person or see… but you want the brain to believe… and thus the fall into addiction and so many other self-inflicted abuse, because of… religion….

Reality was not fun at first… it was a battle… I was baptised twice… but I was fighting for survival and thought this god would save me from the cruelty of my birth family…. the deity did not… guess the christians thought that 8-year-old child deserved to have every bone in her body fractured… because she told the truth…. that is not a priority to christians… its bottom of the list for doing what is right….

Yet, I stuck to my reality and in the end at this point of the journey… I am the winner and champion… I survived many human entities trying to destroy my life… only because I refuse to convert to a cult religion that believes a building and a dead human are more important than my life…

I may have just recently destroyed a very old friendship, by putting my foot down… Your man-made gods are not welcomed in my world…not on social media… not in person…. practice your religion… but NEVER expect me to accept it, believe it or allow it into my world…

Want in my world… respect my boundaries… your gods are not, nor will they ever be welcomed in my world…. Respect my rights and I will leave your gods for your fantasy and out of my world… but they are ever present in my past and daily as I try to walk or use my hands… the damge from your gods is that great on my body and soul…

I believe in me, a living, breathing, human being… who is flawed and owns those flaws and walks through life with my head held high and my heart free and open…. but not for your gods….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie….

Author: maggi9454

Margie was born into a typical christian military family... Her story is anything but typical... Domestic violence, rape, attempted murder and all done while my dad served in the U. S. Air Force and they buried the truth... then my own children impacted by Air Force cover up while I am active duty.... Rape, Attempted murder, domestic violence and discrimination in the name of the United States Government... and it is still happening as I write... just look at Trump, Kavanaugh and Thomas.... Circle of Silence is no more....