Down Time Bites Back…

Having major surgery on valentine’s day was not my idea of fun…. sitting in recovery and watching the news of the kids killed in Florida, seem to take away any discomfort I was feeling… you just wanted to do something to make it all better and you couldn’t… not for them, not for your self….

The deal I made with the surgeon, I stay down for 1 whole year and do as little as I can that involves remodeling and moving… and I have tried and Mike has worked himself to exhaustion a couple of times….

Now the bite in the ass on the down time…. It has made me acutely aware of my in activity and lack of exercises that are more challenging than what I am doing….

It has made it real obvious, exactly how weak my left side really is and from the memories I have talked about… it always has been, since Texas… the Big Springs death of Margie….

What has me just a little concerned… the sensations I have in my arms… it is as if parts of them are no longer attached and then, zing, there goes a nice sharp painful reminder, they are still there….

I deal with pain non stop and always have since at least the boob incident, that would be around 8 years old… possibly longer… there are still some memories I am trying to sort out… chaos still in play, in a small annoying way…. but the pain thing… it is just something I got used too… and I watched as people became addicts and other destructive choices…. I looked for an alternative that was less harmful….

The exercises are helping, but they are only keeping me from hitting my lips when I stand up and walk around… now the weather has cooled, its time to get back into the mile walk daily….

All I can do, is work at the issues, see what helps and keep hoping that the VA dosen’t forget about me again… they did with this surgery… took me 8 years to get it… if the brain is giving out on me… I may not have that much time….

Only time will tell….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie…