Best part of this journey for Margie…

Trust, always been a big issue for me… When in the military, I followed orders, did what I was told… even if I disagreed… 

I said before how I reached out to mental health in the VA system…. and it failed miserably… and always has…

I said before how I reached out medically and again they failed, the VA system that is… and still are….

I said before how I asked my mother in her kitchen in 2010 and she refused to give me information… she failed and still is… cowards never own behavior and christians… well their god will forgive them…

I said before how my own sons have taken the same path as the rest of the abusers… and that one day they will have to own that behavior… will they get that chance or will that time pass and the option is no longer available…

You can say sorry to the dead, it only means something to the one saying the words… the words will fall on deaf ears…. Only the living can hear….

My current marriage, we are no different from anyone else… except, I never shut up and Mike never gave up… that is the best part of Margie’s journey… she learned what love meant, what loyalty meant and what unconditional support meant… so shut up, may never happen….

The best part of this journey, sharing it with Mike… he has heard the stories for 24 years and as the memories open up and he hears them, he knows what I am talking about… he is the mental health worker I never truly had…. He listened and he responded with knowledge of the story…. He only met my siblings a couple of times and my parents, he had just as little contact, even when we lived near them…. So his thoughts about them are based on those experiences and my stories…. Even he has a hard time wrapping his head around what I lived through…. 

I may never get all the answers I am seeking on this road to recovery… but, always that pain in the ass word but…. I got further than I ever hoped and I know it is not over… I still have many more miles to travel, before Margies Song is complete…. and I have someone to hold my hand the whole way…..

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie….

Author: maggi9454

Margie was born into a typical christian military family... Her story is anything but typical... Domestic violence, rape, attempted murder and all done while my dad served in the U. S. Air Force and they buried the truth... then my own children impacted by Air Force cover up while I am active duty.... Rape, Attempted murder, domestic violence and discrimination in the name of the United States Government... and it is still happening as I write... just look at Trump, Kavanaugh and Thomas.... Circle of Silence is no more....