Confidence or Courage…

Ever start your day off and go, today, I will look at all around me and I will just absorb, not judge, not evaluate… just enjoy the life going on around you???

A while back a friend made this comment and it isn’t the first time I have heard this, but this is their interpretation of me, without really knowing me… but this is what they see…

Friend…. You show such confidence in what you are going through and always have… this person knew me on Japan in the 60’s….she is not the first person to say “confidence”…

That is how they see me and in fact most people find me intimidating and arrogant and confident… and guess what, all three are wrong and Mike, my husband of 24 years will tell you they are so far off the mark… and it’s only because for some weird reason they think I have lived this magical, wonderful life… and again… so far off the mark, it’s just fantasy on their part….

The reality of my life… isn’t arrogance, or intimidation or confidence… I have very little of those qualities…  but people see it as such and that reason is for a couple of things I do with consistency….

I am rarely wrong… I always research subjects before I talk about them, I like to know what I am discussing and understand it… so I guess because I like to learn that makes me arrogant…

Intimidating… never have been… it is part of the “Flight or Fight” mechanism that has been turned on since the beating at the age of 6…. when the brain chemistry is in control, the human is not… ask anyone who treats bi-polar or other mental health issues… the Flight or Fight mechanism is turned off, but it only takes a stupid comment or behavior from anyone and it turns right back on… I am working on it… always, I accept, I will always be a work in progress…

Confidence…. What people see as confidence is a lack of fear to stand up against bullying and tyranny… This morning someone shared something about Jesus song to a baby and it set me off… by confusing a child with a religion that you can not prove and you expect them to function in the real world… I hope that baby has a fighting chance against a corrupt cult, called christian/jewish/Islam/buddha what ever label you want… it is still just a label and actions speak much louder than any label you wear… I know… you labeled me….

So what others see as these three traits above, is nothing more than courage… courage to fight for my soul and keep it out of the corrupt hands of christians or any other fantasy religion… really does feel like I am in the twilight zone and if you don’t believe in god I have to worry about being murdered by said christians… and that is a fact… read the history, it happened before, because they called out the bs about a virgin birth… you really cannot fix stupid, honest, just ask them, they would rather double down like Trump than admit, they fear life which is why they fear their god… and that sadly, is a fact…

Well all have confidence, arrogance, faiths, beliefs and a little of insanity in all of us… that is what makes us diverse and that is what Trump can’t stand… he is a racist like Hitler and he really needs to be put behind a very tall wall in a straight jacket….

I may not be the most confident person on the planet… but hubby will tell you and he has seen me in action…. don’t piss me off and above all do not lie to me and keep your religion where it belongs, with you and out of my world… or the next time… my world will no longer welcome you into it…. I faced death many times and survived… I saw the other side and god and life are not there…. only the here and now is life… live it, before you don’t have one to live and quit fearing what may never be…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie…