PTSD and why Mental Health gets it wrong…

The more I understand this PTSD diagnosis, the more I can see when it started for me as a person and when the symptoms kicked in… I would have to say, by the time the boob incident in Alabama… I have had this PTSD since around 8 years old… and I have been seen by 6+ shrinks and mental health workers in the dozens…. and none of them had a clue… not one…

Then I had an appeal going on with the VA and underwent a psych eval in 2010/11 and when I got a copy of the results… PTSD related to my illness… Keep in mind in 2010 I confronted mother over the missing memory and she gave me my answer… she refused to discuss what she had done to a little girl, because she was embarrassed over children being children and her inability to be adult… in fact, she never became an adult… just a consummate act her and Don started and never stopped….

Ya know, when the VA did not bother to get hold of me and ask me If I wanted counseling speaks volumes for the VA system and the fact I worked hard to get the hospital director fired and made many enemies in the doctors at that facility… and yep, the dude was fired… but not before they gave out my Social Security number…. sigh… credit monitoring is not cheap!!!

Regardless of what I rant about… The VA and military have no clue how to really help veterans with PTSD, let alone diagnosis them correctly…. all they know how to do is give us drugs… and thankfully, that is not part of my recovery… the drugs were dumped in 96 and the last of them in 2003… I take what is necessary for medical conditions, not speculative bull shit the doctors don’t understand…..

It is no wonder so many veterans take their lives, when you can’t get the health care system to listen and when it comes to the VA… I have 800 pages of 3rd party rhetoric in my medical records from VA employees… that has zero to do with my health care… just their opinions???? Seriously, I have read all the pages and there is more bull shit in my file than there is medical information… no wonder vets are dying!!! and frankly who gives a rats ass what federal employees think… they aren’t there for the vets… just the paycheck and private health care they lord over veterans…. FACT!!!

I am still very angry and I still have much work to do and I have no real say in what memories present themselves for me to open up… lately, what ever is trying to show itself is a doozy, because it is waking me up 3 hours before I normally get up… and it’s been consistent the last few nights… I so want some sleep…

When the memory does finally show its full self, that is when I go, REALLY??? You kept me a wake for that!!!

Anyone who has TBI & PTSD will tell you, 99% of the time, you will know the memory intimately, but buried it in self-preservation for what ever reason… and the more I see of that household… the more I realize….

Mom & Dad were and are bat shit crazy!!! What do you expect, they labeled themselves as christians…. their god made them do it????

Just WOW!!! I am hoping whatever memory is trying to come forward does it soon… this reminds me of what it was like, before 11/7/17…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie….