Silence is Golden….

Over the 24 plus years of being with Mike, I have regaled him with stories of my adventures, conquest and yes, even women can conquer men… and lots of stories about the family… and Mike has told me, my stories have never altered in any way, from the first time I told him… consistency is so important on this journey when dealing with TBI and PTSD, throw in a healthy dose of neuropathy and it makes for one spectacular life and if nothing else…

That life, I have had and much more to come … and for all the crap I write about… I would not change a thing I have done since I turned 18 years old… I would do it all over again… All of it…. Why…. 

Because I like who I am, I respect me as a person, I appreciate the lines that are starting to show themselves and the sagging skin that comes with getting old… though the grey hair is taking its time, still a strawberry auburn blonde color with those quizzical gray-green eyes…. and that little dimple that still appears on occasion…

No, there is nothing I would change… life is what it is, I am just having, sort of, okay maybe, well maybe not… kind of fun doing this repressed memory journey experience… What can I say, total geek to the core… why do you think I cut the cousins loose, been waiting for the opportunity to prove I was right… why, has no value to me… trust is earned… they do not have mine and that is okay… it may have only been one of them, but that click is so tight… our paths would have never crossed anyway…. I honored a promise and now I am free of the mess they all made… I got one big enough of my own, thank you very much….

I know, when is she going to get to the Silence is Golden part… When you know you have mental issues, you trust so little, including yourself and for decades I knew I was missing memory, but had nothing but paranoia to go on… and I never told Mike about any of that, until recently… I kept that secret close to my heart for over 50 years…

For any person on this planet, say they know anything about me or my life, they would be lying through the sorry ass they talked out of…

Mike is the first person on this planet that I have ever trusted… I took that domestic violence abuse from the age of 6 till the age of 63… I have ALWAYS kept my secrets close… I never had anyone I could confide in, except me and when you start arguing with yourself, lets just say, I duck when I swing….

My life has only become known since Nov 7, 2017… I never told of rape, the beatings or the government cover up in any public way, till now… Privately, Mike is the only one who knows most of the story and there is still some I have not talked of….

Yes, my life has been full of the things you see in movies… and its nothing to brag about except for one thing… I survived not knowing I had a TBI and all the ugly behavior that came with that TBI… it is a part of my past, but it was classic behavior for a severe TBI… I own that, it is part of me and it taught me more than I could have possibly hoped for… and it still makes me blush, a bit…

Silence is no longer golden in my world… people like Trump, Kavanaugh, Thomas and Moore are the kind of people who tried to silence me… now women and men are raising their voices and saying….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember…..