Why Mental Health is the Worse for my PTSD….edited…

As always doing something, always trying to stay busy, when busy you don’t think as much… but, I do… a habit I picked up as a child to protect myself and that habit, let the brain wonder and do what every it wants for fun… and most of the time, it will work and take me away from what ever is bugging me… but…. not today… today, it hit me between the eyes… the aha, why mental health will never be able to truly help me as a patient…. and this is why….

What I just said about letting my brain wonder and have some fun, in other words I would let it go to a fantasy land of imagination and I would make up stories in my head and lose myself in those stories… they were actually good stories, because I could remember them and add to them… so in the sense of the words… I wrote myself my own story, so I could survive in the world around me… and it worked until 2010….

When I tried mental health here on Hawaii, the young lady was good, but, very preoccupied and unable to keep up with me, no matter how much notes the child took, she would never put the story together… I bounce from year to year and decade to decade, because to me they are all connected… to the mental health worker, it’s a puzzle they are trying to put together, but can’t, because they do not know the whole story, like I do and my hubby of 24 years….

Even tho Mike knows most of the stories about my parents and siblings… the last week or so, he has been hearing more information that he never heard before and when I connect the dots for him, he knows how the new information fits into the story I am telling….

Much like you trying to read this blog, that I cannot put in sequence, only because I cannot maintain a signal long enough for the changes to take effect…. so too is it with the mental health worker…. If I wait for her to connect the dots… I will be in my grave and now you get, why mental health cannot help me… they do not have the time to help… to many patients and not enough time in the day…

Mike has been listening to my stories for 24 years… Only in the last year, has he been able to connect the dots with the stories I already told before I got my memories back and he is now able to put the new information in the proper scenario and he can keep up…

No puzzle trying to put the information together so it makes sense… It makes sense, because he knows it by heart…. the mental health will NEVER get to that point and in that situation…. They are and really never have been good for my particular situation and thus why I gave up on them so very long ago…

When you put people in mental health counseling and only give them 30 minutes to talk… just how much progress do you think anyone will make in one year???? It just frustrated me and pissed me off for wasting my time… because I was stopped from talking, because my time was up… nothing like feeling invisible because of a stupid clock….bottom line money and time do not mix, and patients suffer…

I talk to Mike for at least a half hour EVERY DAY and he keeps up only because he is living it….

Combat veterans need more than just minutes to talk… they need someone they can rely on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week… and so far all America cares about…. getting Veterans day off from work….

My aha about how little mental health is really doing in America is not a pleasant one, but one that I have experienced before…

We as a nation are letting our people down, because to have enough workers in mental health…. our kids have to be able to live through high school and so far, they are losing and so is America….

Mental health has its good points and bad points just like any other health profession… and most of the time, it’s not enough training and not enough people to do the job….

Mental illness is more pervasive than you can imagine… because when you believe in gods that have not factual basis, based solely on just stories… well funny farm here they come….

I prefer the facts and so far, Egypt has shown that the bible hasn’t told the truth yet… So in my house there is no AD or BC…. it’s strictly Before Curret Era BCE…

Reality is a cold bedfellow, but it doesn’t lie to you….and it actually makes time for you…. mental health, not so much… never did get a phone call back from the local mental health… hubby can back that up…I called twice and left a message… zero response….I am okay with that….I was already invisible….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie….

Author: Adorable Spite

Domestic violence is an old song, sung thru the ages like a hymn and purported to be the way christians live their lives... full of deceit, hate, bigotry and most of all fear... It is that fear that cost me my virginity, my soul and most of all my humanity... I had to fight to keep the christians hands off my soul, but they stole from my body and so did the U. S. Air Force... Rape and attempted murder... but image was more important... Vance AFB and Webb AFB... #WhyIDidntTell #MeToo TimesUP, Circle of Silence is no more....

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s