Mental Toll from Mother’s Lies….

Do you remember watching Ozzy & Harriet; or Leave it to Beaver; or My Three Sons;  or Father Knows Best???

That is the era I grew up in… Yet, I probably watched only a couple of episodes from any one show, because for me, it was brain candy… and escape from reality and the only problem, reality had a couple of ugly mugs….

The mental portion of this journey to give Margie her voice, is not the most difficult, but it is full of questions that will never have answers…. 

Reasoning without justification…. and loss as great as any loss can be and still more questions…. for why the loss…

The worse part about getting my memories back… Is remembering the pleasure my mother took in causing harm to a small child… and at times I felt displaced as if it was her soul she was beating upon and punishing, because her own mother abandon her…but it was my body she hit…

She sought out comfort at an early age and brought life into it…. and she fought to mold that life into the doll house world she imagined….

Only one problem… Margie… the child that always told the truth and could never forget any of the ugly that went on in that trailer, or duplex or shanty shack, until Big Springs, Texas…

When Margie died, it was a blessing in disguise, though a nightmare that played out from 1968 till Nov 7, 2017… When a deranged young man killed 26 innocent people in Sutherland Springs, Texas…

Two days later Margie woke up and talked of that night in Big Springs, Texas, the night she died… Facing those memories, the TV interview, the Boob incident, the Child not of my dad’s blood…. because the world did not function the way the mother saw it, so she had Margie killed…

In a few days I will get a brain MRI and I will finally see what Big Springs, Texas and the Air Force did to kill Margie…. so while mother lives, she will know….

I Remember…..

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie….