PTSD, TBI & Neuropathy status….

Depression, not really… Since the doc adjusted my thyroid med, those side affects have finally backed off after 26 years of taking levothyroxine… worse man-made drug ever!!!

I get a little sad, once in a while, but it usually is because of a passing thought from the childhood nightmare and mother and father not owning their behavior… much like Trump…. so I see it, take it and throw it in the garbage disposal… because my parents I owe nothing… nada, zip, zero… besides, I help to pay for that house lil sis is living in…. daddy thanked me before he died….

As for the neuropathy… it is as I expected after the episode the other day…. the part I hate the most… sweating… get up this morning, nice and cool outside and I have to put on a robe, because I am alternating between cold and sweating, and it’s all neuropathy…. kind of hope this morning, means I am done for a while with that part…. it does come in cycles…

The worse part… the stiffening… I remember reading about an illness that causes the tissue to stiffen and I think women get it more often than men…. so, I am really hoping time goes quickly so that MRI is done and I finally see the neurologist… I have lots of questions and really want a couple of things ruled out…. but that condition is something that started in 08… so I hope it is muscle related and not disease related…. hard to discern the two sometimes…

Balance, still an issue, only for the way I plant my right foot and getting more aware of the nuances of this disease….

Exercise… I did 6 plank style push ups and didn’t face plant…. tried it with knees on floor and that put pressure on the area that I am trying to strengthen and actually caused a problem… so plank style it is… If I can get back up to 10 push ups, I will be happy…

Most of all, the mental part of this journey… Accepting the violence my parents did and accepting that my siblings have been brainwashed… tells me what I have known since my sister took my place… mother got what she wanted….

As for me… I have a family… those that want to be a part of my life are and that is truly all that matters…. those that want to speculate and fantasize about a life I never lived… well reality is a cold bed fellow and I will take my reality any day over their fantasy….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie…

Sgt. USAF DAV