Going to get a little off track, nothing new there now is it…. But, got contacted by a cousin who had DNA done… love that… and she is the granddaughter of my grandmother’s brother…. and has loads of information about the family in this last century… Information I have struggled to get my hands on, while living here on Hawaii and all of you know my communication issues… so we won’t bother going there….
What the new cousins told me did lend some credence to the research done by another person and that research had to do with my mother and her siblings and being abandoned… and after what my cousins just told me, I think we can finally put mothers psychological profile together… and I will try to be as concise as possible with my supposition…
Mother was abandoned as a small child, but we didn’t know why, well, now we have a clue….
Come to find out, my great grand parents Charles and Lucinda Ball had almost as many kids as the Duggars we are related to…. They had 16 kids, with sets of triplets and twins and from what the cousins tell me… Those kids raised each other and that is clue #1…. If my great grandparents had no parenting skills, that explains why her mother had no parenting skills and why my mother has no parenting skills… thankfully in my line that is where it ended….
When children are abandoned and left to fend for themselves… they go into the flight or fight mechanism and never develop the skills to cope with life and they are always in that flight or fight mode for survival… I know, I lived that for 50 years after the severe TBI in Big Springs, Texas… and it did not stop, until I got my memory back, concerning Big Springs, Texas… and the lives of 26 innocent in Sutherland Springs, Texas gave up their lives and I got mine back…. Nov 5, 2017 they died… Nov 7, 2017 I started talking…
Knowing that my own mother had zero parenting as a child and she married at 16 and started having kids… she never left the flight or fight she started, when her mother walked out of her life… It explains why, when her mother died in 1968, she reacted the way she did… She never got closure from what happened to her as a child…
Does this excuse my mother, oh hell no… Stupid the woman is not… She is highly intelligent… just very jaded and warped by religion and the inability to face the reality that she was not wanted as a child…. and the lack of desire to own her own life and behavior… gee that does sound like Trump….
Thus why she did everything she could to make me feel what she felt and to isolate me, the way her mother isolated her…. and when, even as a toddler she could not get me to conform to what she wanted… she went out of her way to insure I knew what real hell was… and she succeeded for a while… but I never forgot, from the first memory at 18 months old and being hit to the last blow at 17 on Okinawa… I never truly forgot…
Than along comes 2010, when I stood in her kitchen and told her I was missing memory… and her reply…..” Some things are best not remembered”…. just one little problem mommy dearest….
I do remember….
TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidnTell
I Remember… Margie….
Sgt. USAF DAV
I got a feeling things just might get real interesting… thinking of spending the money and getting back in to my ancestry research and find that orphanage my mother got dumped in….