Hate the holidays…

I didn’t used too… As my kids aged and I saw that giving had so little value compared to receiving…. I blame that on me, because of my own up bringing…. Wanted them to have memories that I did not have… Funny, my kids never asked me about my youth, I can only assume the stories they were told by family, doubtful of any truth in those stories…. as I have learned….but they probably believed…

Tried to do same with grandkids, an the more we did, the less we got in return….

When the opportunity arises to leave, you take it, an that is where depression takes control of your life. You make decisions based on the justifications in your mind and do not bother to reason those choices… Done that many, many times….

This time is different… Though I openly admit it is a battle that is ongoing… Do we move, and if so, what changes from what has gone on before….

Those dreams I had for my family are not only up to me, the other players have to participate, and the past says they will not, and the depression spreads inside me as warm an heavy as a foggy night…..

I always have hope, but I also have reality…. Not all of us get to live our dreams….

Mine were taken before I got a chance to dream them an if I accept that… she wins…

TomesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTelll

I Remember… Margie….

Sgt USAF DAV