Simpliyfing the message….

How do I go about simplifying any of this… Honestly, If this was already in a book, I would look at it and go, nice piece of fiction…. just one problem…

I have the MRI proof it’s not in my imagination, its not a bad dream that I will wake up from… it’s heart breaking, life altering moment, and I still can’t, I don’t want …. to accept it is all true…

I want it to be a nightmare that I will wake up from and have had the life I should have had… but christians decided differently…

I was taught in school, slavery is over… I was taught in sunday school, none of this should have ever happen… but it did… and it did many, many, many times….. and still does in America….. The Riverside kids remind me of that… Hope they are getting all the help they need…

So many of us never do, and what we do get, is because the doctor thinks they know more than the patient… when it comes to their body…. funny, most of the doctors I ever saw were men…. and the fuckers still don’t have a clue… I am proof of that….

Angry, yes… I feel the rage inside me, quietly boiling into contempt and disgust with the Bagwell & Cooper clan… all the ugly behavior, rape, adultery, theft, prostitution, drug abuse and most of all… Lying and trying to make other people as miserable as they are… and now I understand why I never reached out after granny’s death… I knew even than, how corrupt and sick the family was….

Mike will tell you, the person they think they know… never was and never will be… I am more conservative than most christians… but then again, I don’t use religion to commit crimes against humanity… they do… but, shy and conservative… is who I have always been… the brain injury took the wall down for a time and part of that wall may never go back up and that is my mouth…

I will always say what I think and when I think it… I will always tell the truth, even when it is not convenient… like I did when my granddaughter got hustled by the fake modeling company… biggest con in the nation and ongoing for decades… and pointed the child in the direction of the companies I knew of that were legit… but because I told the truth… I ruined her life… choices… always about choices and honesty….. I am no longer welcomed in her world… Enabling is not on my menu…

Tonight and the next few nights I expect to be interesting… It has been more of a day, trying not to lean over the porcelain throne… my insides have been on that kind of ride, since I read the report…

I had hoped… that they wouldn’t find as much damage as they did… but, I know… if my memories are right… that is exactly the kind of damage they should have found…. and the next tests, will give me more insight on the extent of that damage… I know I have dead brain tissue, where the damage was located, which may explain the lost memories… they were drowned by blood and the tissue starved for oxygen, dies…  

Explains, why when I am thinking or talking and the brain hiccup happens and I can tell the reroute is happening and in seconds the brain picks up on the lost message and continues… so weird to know this, but I have lived it for 50 years and I had 50 years to learn and understand what my brain was doing and I adapted and learned, so I could survive….

My biggest fault after the beating on Japan… I couldn’t learn by reading or sitting in class… I had to learn by doing and memorizing… that is how I compensated from 1969 to just about 25 years ago… and I knew at that time, things were changing in the brain again and so was my personality…

Fast forward to now and Mike will tell you, the person he married is still here, but the personality of Margie is the one living it now… Maggi is taking a backseat, to the little girl who’s only mistake… 

Tell the truth in a christian home…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie…

Sgt. USAF DAV