I can go no further…

The exhaustion from this current issue is taking its toll… Sleep has gone out the window… just like the PTSD nightmares I had for over 50 years… Kind of wish those would come back, at least I would get some sleep… Can not even get the body to take a nap during the day…

The BP drug is nasty for me… only because, I have told doctors since my military time in 77… All medications, even supplements impact my brain and my body differently… Mike has seen it in action… and this drug is no different… made me real irritable the first 48 hours after starting it…

Now it’s just not letting me sleep… supposedly this drug is supposed to make you relax… Ya know, when I had to do a road trip by myself, I got some stuff that was I guess a kind of stimulant… instead, I spent an hour puking my guts out, that was 1978… Couldn’t throw the stuff away fast enough… and caffeine, I never been big on it anyway… but…

My BP is reading in the normal range right now, as long as I take the medication… when I got up this morning, the diastolic was high, but came down after I took the pill… and I can tell, I won’t be able to take any stronger dosage… I now split the pill and take half AM and PM….

Never had to worry about being an addict of any kind… pot, my go to for everything, from pain to nausea or as a calming agent… and even then, there were times it made things worse, and we grow pure stuff that is 100% free of any chemicals or contaminants… so imagine if I bought something off the street, which we did a few years ago, and I could tell, man-made chemicals had been used on the stuff… We never get any kind of munch issue or anything else with what we grow… natural, most assuredly the way to go…

Pain, the pain is ridiculous right now, because of this BP med… and I tried doing research on the issue with my feet and it just keeps going back to Peripheral neuropathy or vascular disease or both… and the vascular disease can be caused by a stroke… yep… Don and Freda wanted me dead, If I had known I had a stroke, I would have so made different choices in life… and Mike will vouch for that statement… I was the one to get him to give up booze and cigs…

It’s a beautiful day outside, but I am so tired, I just want to curl up and not do anything or go any place and that is so frustrating, when living on Hawaii… there is so much to do and enjoy…

My home, right now, has become my prison… so hope the Kona hospital calls to let me know when they will do the test… I want off this BP medicine… there has to be a better way to deal with this, if it’s vascular disease… 

Peripheral, Autonomic and Vascular disease… all because 2 christian adults beat the crap out of a child before she became an adult…

I will never not hate religion, I don’t give a damn who you are… I will consider you an enemy, till you prove differently…

I would look at this so differently If I had caused these issues myself… but it was religious bigots who did this to me… I have no love lost for the bastards…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… hope someone does…

Sgt. USAF DAV