When Brain Damage takes Memories…

It’s fairly obvious by my writing, I know just a little bit about medicine and the human body… I mean come on… Started reading the stuff, when I was in the military and went and took some college, because I had planned to be a paramedic and then move on to higher medicine… but, like all things in life, life happened…

But I never stopped reading and learning… Now don’t get me wrong… I haven’t full understanding of any subject… I am just one of those people who have loads of useless information in their brain until they need it and lately I have needed those 40 plus years of information…  ya know, I think I would have been an excellent doctor…

So for the last 30 minutes, I have given Mike a crash course on the brain, memory, infarct, strokes and blood on the brain and most of all fistulas…

Ya see, my sister, the one who doesn’t want me to remember the one memory that would show her family the kind of person she really is… I never forgot… If I had forgotten, that specific memory, my sister and I would have been close… We never were after the boob incident… and that was 56 years ago…

That being said, what has this to do with anything… I have stated that my doctor thinks that my brain injury is not acute, in other words I am not ripe for stroke or heart attack… just one little problem with that assumption… that test MRA getting done here soon, will determine that… not a doctors assumptions, nor mine… even I can be wrong with my own body… and I have no problem owning that, but it is my life and doctors just don’t seem to have the Hippocratic oath in their minds, souls or hearts… so it’s about the money and not patients… and I saw that first hand working in the medical field…

My sister says she had an infarct… only problem with that, she showed zero signs of motor skill issues, cognitive issues and most of all speech issues… You see that little thing called the hippocampus does all the transferring of stuff from short to long-term memory and memories are not stored they way people think like a file system… nope its lots more complicated than that…

If she had an Infarct, dementia would be her future… and her memory ability is just as good as the woman she calls mother, Freda… and all my sister has done, is exactly what her half-brother has done, protect Freda… and sadly Freda is the reason I have so much damage to my insides and outsides of my body and she started that when I was an infant… the ghost memories, that I cannot confirm are of shaken baby syndrome and the MRI shows that kind of damage… wow, shook my head on that one…

Ya see with infarct what happens, they put you through rehabilitation immediately, why, because the things you forget how to do are usually the things you learned as a child, walking, talking, eating, just every day stuff…. It is beyond rare for an infarct to impact memories…. now you get it… my sister lied to me… why??? 

Well that story is for my book, got to save something for when that thing is done and published…

I have hope, big time hope, that the MRA shows no fistula and no infarct deep in the brain… one thing no one has considered, how much damage was done, by my sister dumping me on the floor repeatedly as children from the top bunk on to my back, allowing the back of my head to be impacted… we know this area has excessive bone build up and the doctors contribute that to trauma, learned that one a long time ago, actually about 30 years ago…

Since that kind of impact could impact my ability to store and make memories is  moderate to high…

I kind of hope that what they do find… Is that the autonomic neuropathy is the culprit and with treatment, I will get back my memories…

If I made any… always that possibility… I didn’t make memories, but like I always say…

I have hope… the one thing in life that never lied to me, let me down or hurt me…

Hope… it is sad, that all my sister and brother had to do, tell the truth and Freda, she just had to own her behavior… Instead, they decided to play god, because other wise, they would never done this to another human being… but christians and god would…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie…hope someone does…

Sgt. USAF DAV