Anger & Frustration, not of my making!!!

I posted a copy of the fax I sent to my doctor… and yet that doctor’s appointment I had a week ago Friday still bothers me, why, because the doctors feelings were important and mine had zero value… and the doctor knew by the MRI I had suffered a stroke and I just became a patient with a brain injury, but that had no value to her, but her feelings were more important than mine…

And the office staff and the doctor made damn sure when I left that building I was in the wrong!!!

Anger and frustration… Do you know Freda is living, so is Peggy & Larry and so is Aunt Tiny… all of them know the truth…

But not one has reached out to tell me that truth and you can bet, they have read this blog… fear, fear I will expose them to the real world and not the fantasy world they built… fear… always about fear…

Maybe that is why I have more balls than any man I ever met… I know of none that could endure 60 years of non stop pain… no those are the ones that take the easy out by suicide…

Instead I wear my frustration across my soul and I wear my anger in my writing and once in a while it comes out to be exposed… yet, like I said as I left that clinic that day, they made damn sure I knew they were in charge and my feelings had zero to do with my health care… and now I am a hostile patient… and the anger boils and I want to scream and shout, how do they get away with it…

Religion… always comes back to people using religion as an excuse to do the worse to other humans… but their god will forgive them… I laugh and shake my head, I know the real truth…

I have watched as people like those at the clinic behave this way and something in life will happen that is anything but good and they will wonder why them…

Call me crazy, but I believe we all have a life force and it impacts each and every one of us… some call it Karma… I call it life getting even… this moment in time of pain and frustration will pass.. but the damage is done and I am now a hostile patient… and there is no going back… people never can hide who they really are…

Me… what you see, what you hear is what you get… I don’t deviate or change or adjust for anyone…why???

Because Margie deserves better and people are still trying to silence her voice… They silenced it when she was 6…

margie

cropped-cropped-maggi6yr1

Two different ages, the first picture taken around 6 yrs old and if you have knowledge of medicine, you can see the blunt force trauma fractures on the arms and you can see the bruises in the color picture…

Anger, so much anger that is impotent now… because I am trying so hard to heal… yet people keep silencing my voice… even the health care professionals… their feelings are more important than my 60 years of emotional, psychological and physical pain… I am trying so hard to heal… but they want silence… always wanting silence is the christian way…

My frustration used to take control and it would ruin my day, my week, my month and my year… it took me so long to get to this point and for me not to show frustration these last few months is beyond ludicrous… it is the christian way… silence the voice, to be seen not heard… when health care professionals treat you this way, you know they are christian… always working to silence the voice…

But my doctor and her staff made sure I heard their voice!!! and I was forced to apologize… and I did… BUT… I got zero apology from them…

Now I am a hostile patient that they made… but they won’t see that… no they are christian and it is about them and not the paying customer… or the patient… no it is about the healthy, working community and not the victims of domestic violence, rape, murder and assault… I have experienced all those and recently bullying in my own doctors office… always trying to silence, always trying to make it about them and not the person seeking help…

Yes, I have anger and I am frustrated… I know we will leave here in the next 24 months… much sooner if the transmesh lawsuit is finalized this year… so I need this clinic, because to start over, would put my health care at the bottom of the barrel and that is where I started when we moved to Hawaii and it took me over a year to get a doctor…

One fired me as a patient, my case to complicated, the other one, the office manager fired me as a patient…

I expect no less from the doctor I am seeing now… I have learned and realized, it’s not about my health care, it’s about them getting paid and me not having an opinion… how absurd is that??? sounds like Trumpism is more prevalent than anyone in America thought…

Rant over….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… I hope I never forget her again…

Sgt. USAF DAV