Propranolol 10 mg….edited

Just to tell you how bad my vision gets, I read the prescription as take one tablet daily not 2 tablets daily… If I had taken that dosage, I got a feeling my heart rate would have dropped so low, it would have stopped…

As it was, I was taking a 1/2 tablet in the morning and at night and even that amount screwed with my brain, my mood, my sleep, my diet, my water in my body… you name it, it is the drug from hell for me..

But since I am getting no response from my primary care about the fact I stopped taking it after only 7 days, is telling and I got zero response from the call I made yesterday requesting a refill thru Wal-Mart for the cyclobenzaprine muscle relaxer… literally just spit on my monitor with my huge sigh… 

I will never understand the mentally healthy and the way they treat those of us with mental illness…

It’s like opening the bible and reading how it is okay to rape, murder, lie, steal, slavery, sodomy, incest… yep It feels like I am in the twilight zone, big time…

Well since it looks like I am my primary care provider until I see the neurologist…

Its back to taking this propranolol, but instead as directed, I will take a half tablet once daily… taking anymore, will drop my heart rate back below 50 and I know from my training, that is heart failure when it gets below 35… I know, I have to keep an eye on my husband… his life is mine, because the ER missed his heart failure, but I caught it… so he’s stuck with me…

Anyway…  I  know that because I have a board hearing that is probably why the irregular heart beat… no matter how much I try to focus on meditation etc… the thought of going before this dude, is anything but appealing… just hope I don’t have to do more than read my statement and that is that… It’s not like they can hurt me, I am already 100% service connected… I just think I should have been awarded that at my time of filing for benefits… Mike is working on getting me an ex JAG lawyer to take on the VA….

Anyway, the heart is beating out of my chest… I have a slight discomfort in my back, but that is the area of the muscle that knotted up and stuck out of the skin one year and has never been the same since the nurses at the Spokane VA stuck a needle in it…sigh… No jaw pain, no pain in my arm, no numbness, nothing that would indicate a pending heart attack… so I got to give it over to the jitters for todays board hearing… I really hate dealing with anyone who is in authority… and I think that goes back to when I died and had the stroke at 13… some of that incident, I may never remember… which isn’t a bad thing…

Need to go relax before we head to town… Chewed one of those CBD gummies, hoping it will calm me, since oral medication turns me into Freddy Kruger… which just a FYI, I am not allowed to behave any other way than what my medical care team things I should act like…

Holy crap on a cracker are they in for a rude awakening… I don’t get even… but I sure take advantage of situations when they arise… lots of little devil emojis… lol….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… hopefully

Sgt. USAF DAV

Mike an I went over the conversation when the doctor gave me the perscription, she said half a tablet twice daily, so I followed her verbal order, probably why I did not look at the bottle.., Do I think I can tolerate half a pill a day, we will see… it obviously has some dieuretic in it, because thirst was high within an hr of taking the half pill an I could not get out of the car fast enough when we got home…

I wish I understood why medication an supplements screw with me, only thing I can figure, the stroke rewrote how my body responds an it will allow some meds an other meds turn me into Freddy Kruger…

So I am giving the drug another chance, because the BP numbers edging to 100 an higher, tells me it is a drug I need until they figure out what is wrong…But… I have had no phone call or any response from the doctors office…

I so miss the good care I got at one time before doctors made me a hostile patient…