Reminding myself the whole purpose of this journey….

Stress used to do me under, make me bitchy beyond belief and I tell you straight up, my mouth would make mommy dearest proud…. and it has been that way since about 2000, about 7 years into thyroid medication…. and what a ride that drug has and was… but never again….

Every wall I hit, be it medication that doctors think I need to be on, without understanding how said drugs impact the brain and in turn, turns a human being into something they are not…. been there, done that…. and I think we are into 6 days of not taking levothyroxine…. 

Other than being on cloud nine with the thought process, I feel fine… so I might have, maybe should have waited a couple of weeks before I started smoking pot again… but to late… no going back… besides, it makes living on a busy street, where assholes make sure you know they drove by….. we planted more trees, but it will be next year before they have any impact… it is amazing how fast stuff grows here on Hawaii…..

After I had a long talk with myself, cried on my shoulder about not having a primary… recognizing… I do have knowledge and training… it is what saved Mikes life after the ER missed it…

I have taught him what he needs to know if I do have a stroke or heart attack… other than falling off the elliptical, which we do have a deal… pillow, blanket and water and you get back up off the floor on your own at your own pace, as long as you are breathing… so that is our deal…

I just need to remind myself, I have made excellent progress on this road to letting Margies story out… 

I recognize my triggers and deal with them in a different way… I no longer am freaked over my brain, like the last doctor said… it is just a small area of damage to my brain… and my jaw drops to the ground… but knowing no clots or fistulas or anything bad… it just means I could get dementia because of the stroke… I could get a lot of things… 

After 64 years on this planet and being a productive adult who contributed to the system…. It’s really not all bad… anything can happen and crystal ball none of us have…

So instead of beating myself up for walking away from the last doctor and have hope that the medical community on Hawaii has integrity… after the Neurologist… if everything is fine… 

I am good If I do not get another primary while living here… I am informed and I am the one that diagnosed myself and got the last doctor to get those things officially recognized… so progress I have made, though I have been blocked by the professionals on so many levels…

They can’t take Margies genius from her… Freda and Don couldn’t… neither could Jesus’ or any god, nor can those that swore a oath to DO NO HARM….  

yep that weed is really good… just let loose a bitch…. 

The next 24 hours should be interesting….if Tri-west calls or not about a doctor…

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who tried to get the college educated to listen many, many times…they still do not…

Sgt. USAF DAV