When Fear Walks With You… pg 6…

I will never fully forget my time on Okinawa… only because… I made memories and I remember them all…. from Okinawa, outside the house I existed in…

As for the other memories, I have never remembered any more than I know right now… Ever… the memories that I have recovered are the memories I always known about, but buried them so I could cope with the reality of christians beating their kids to death and corrupting their children in the process… and sadly every one of my siblings… took that path…

I was so very fortunate, because of what the gift of life gave me… my brain and my desire to live free of bigotry, hate and most of all, free of religion… how sad that is the issue in America after so many centuries of wars over nothing more than a human that had a silver tongue and those in power, made the world based on that corrupt ideology…

Yes… I fought hard to keep my soul from the evil of this earth and thy name be…. religion…. that is the true satan on earth… no other….

I left home as soon as I could after we left Okinawa…. Tried my hand at being a nanny and found out fast… motherhood was not a good idea for this woman….

I went on to work in a dinner on the graveyard shift in Livermore, back in 72…. stayed with granny for that time… the woman who knew everyone’s secrets… I smile as I think of her….

Even tried retail, working at Macys… I found I didn’t like being treated like a lackey or peasant I guess is the best word…

I was raped and got pregnant… I believe we all have the right to choose… I had no choice, but to give birth and raise the child… 

I met a guy we married, but very short-lived marriage… he was leaving for basic for the Air Force and we had a party the night before he left and he decided…. he needed to try him some foreign terrain and dipped his wick where it should have never gone….

It took me a couple of years to get the divorce… In the mean time I meet a cute guy who is active duty and he’s going to a remote site in Italy… in a little town of Colle’ Isarco, probably spelled it wrong… and he asked me to go with him… and of course, always ready for an adventure, I took my child and went to Italy….

It was an interesting experience and I had misguided feelings for the man… and during a major earthquake while camping on the flight line with other families… I go pregnant, again…. I had already been told, childbirth was not for me… but here I go again….

By the time the baby arrives, I had my appendix taken out at 6 months… 2 months after giving birth I was married to his daddy and I was on my way to Lackland AFB for basic training….

During many of the above events there are many funny and sad stories… but the one constant…

The way I handled each crisis…. The pregnancies… for me, and what I have read agrees, my body was full in for the babies… but my brain wasn’t… It was a constant war and that is another story…

Each time I had difficulties, dealing with my first husband, I did most of that by phone and not in person… there was my first barrier of protection….

The next time… I did it in writing and I knew when that happened, one day I would write… but again, I put barriers up with each of those actions and the people had to come around to my way of thinking for things to work how they wanted, If I was to stay in the picture…

And both men did and it still all ended… by this time it had been 11 years since the stroke and bleed on the brain…. 1967 to 1978 and I knew nothing about anything except the measles and mumps that Freda told me about…

Every time I called and asked… I shake my head as I write… I asked so many, many, many times… she said the same thing… “Nothing happened to you while you were a child, just measles and mumps”…

That MRI from the 26th of Dec 2018 says differently…. and the flight or fight mode was still so active until recently…

It walked with me, it owned me, it controlled me…. its name….

Religion….

TimesUp #MeToo WhyIDidntTell

I Remember… Margie… who got baptised twice and still they beat upon her body and took her life, but she kept her soul… she won the battle Nov 7, 2017….

Sgt. USAF DAV